Oh, It Is Love (Holiday Update + An Acceptance Letter!)

"How was your winter break?"

"Three days were wonderful, and the rest pretty much sucked. How was your break?"

Hmmm… not sure if honesty is the most socially accepted way to answer that question, but honesty IS the best policy, so I just might go with that. You see, I was thinking the other day about school starting back, and what I'd say to those smiling faces who actually dare to try talking to the sullen mute depressing blah I've become. And in my head, that was the simplest summary of my break possible. Which caused me to seriously think about WHY that was the case. Well, how about we look at those three wonderful days?

My 18th Birthday-my family and I went to see Tron in theaters, and met Henry there :). On the way there, my dad was a total jerk and actually shocked us all into silence with his hostility. I mean, it was my 18th birthday, AND I wasn't feeling too good, and he chooses right before we get to the theater to go psycho about tickets and how I shouldn't assume that he was paying for ANYTHING and more I don't even want to think about right now. My mom sister and I were taken aback, and I wanted to beat the snot out of him, but when we were walking up to the theater and I saw Henry I felt worlds better. We all watched the movie, and afterward came home and I had a peanut butter fudge shake from Sonic while everyone else ate pizza. Then, Henry and I watched How To Train Your Dragon in the living room, and I fell asleep… I was still on pain meds and antibiotics, and had been fighting to keep my eyes open all day. It was great, though, because he was still there when I woke up, and gave me the most wonderful birthday card ever written, and was there to hold me as I fought tears of joy ^_^. So, bottom line, my birthday started really rough but wound up wonderful :).

Christmas Eve-my brother and his wife came over, and we opened up a couple gifts, and they gave us their Wii :D. We played it for most of the night, and there was a lot of laughter as my mom learned how to drive on Mariokart XD. After they left, we opened the rest of our gifts, and people liked what I gave them, and I loved my presents, and it was just a lot of fun. I loved seeing momma HAPPY… when she smiles it really does warm my heart. She doesn't smile enough… during the holiday season we call my dad the Grinch, and Christmas is always a desperate attempt to make the day great despite the familial warfare, and this year WE BEASTED. So yeah, I'm happy about it.

December 28th-Henry invited me to celebrate Christmas with his family, and they were getting together that evening. We ate, and talked, and his family is pretty amazing :). They opened gifts, and his family and his aunt actually got me presents, which I wasn't expecting at all, and about made me cry happily... Henry loved his gift(a clan crest key fob-his family is of Scottish descent), which made my lungs feel like they were going to burst I was so relieved and overjoyed!!! I thought it was cool, and was hoping he did too :D :D :D. I gave MG, his awesome sister, Flipped by Wendelin Van Draanen and The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, both of which are personal favorites. She hasn't gotten to HG yet, but read Flipped and loved it! YAY! Anyway, after we opened presents us three, Henry, MG, and I, went outside and played in the snow-something I haven't done in years. The stars shone brightly, and we laughed, and pelted each other with snow, and made snow angels, and more :). It was just a magical evening ^_^.

And the rest of the days of my break? I worked some (got told to look for another job by my manager, who simply said that I wasn't 'raunchy and wild' enough to fit in with my coworkers, and just didn't belong. Not kidding. I'm okay with it though… I'll explain further if anyone cares to hear details), slept a LOT (I met with a clinical psychologist, who I didn't like that all, and he prescribed a low dose antidepressant to help me cope with my 'situational depression', which I DO like because it seems to be helping, but it made me freakishly drowsy all the time, so I'm now taking it at night), and was mostly home with my dad… and we don't get along. When the new year arrived, I was home alone with D. A little while after an awkward toast, I went to the bathroom and was fighting tears, chewing myself out for being an emotional wreck. This year will be a HUGE one for me-I'm FINALLY moving out, going to college, growing up, breaking FREE from this prison. I'm going to need my mom's support more than ever… and she, and my sister, were at work when the ball dropped. It wasn't their fault, and I'm not mad about it at all, it just felt wrong. Everything has felt wrong lately. The biggest difference between those few great days and all of the crappy ones is who I was with. On those three days, I was with people I love, and who love me. I was able to laugh, able to smile… and the rest, not so much. I'm sorry I haven't posted, or read your posts or commented. I'm just disconnected right now, emotionally detached, and haven't even been checking my email.

Anyway, on a VERY POSITIVE NOTE: I've been accepted to the Great University, and received the Presidential Scholarship-which means full tuition! It is really amazing, and I'm so fortunate… I'll be going there next weekend for a scholars' dinner and a campus tour. I can't wait! Right now that is the only college that has given me a response, but I can't imagine getting a better offer than that…. I guess I'll see ^_^. I'm also making another college visit next week, and school starts back tomorrow, so I'm going to have to snap out of this and really get myself moving. There is too much to be done for me to be a space cadet! Thankfully I know that no matter how hard it gets, I'll make it-because I'm not alone, no matter how alone I feel sometimes. I am loved, and focusing on that fact is what has allowed me to smile at all during my time in this house. Soon enough, I will be free… anyway, I'm sorry for vanishing everyone. I hope you haven't given up on me! I also hope that you had a wonderful Christmas, that you were able to spend time with loved ones, and that this coming year is better than last year was for all of you :).

--

"But you see, it's not me, it's not my family.

In your head, in your head they are fighting,

With their tanks and their bombs,

And their bombs and their guns.

In your head, in your head, they are crying..."

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(¸.·´¸.·*´¨) *

(¸.· Elizabeth *´¨)

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The Past Week + Peanut (a puppy) + A Prayer Request

Last Friday I worked again for the first time in almost two weeks, which was strange. The club is now a five dollar foot long, which is just crazy considering how expensive the meats are. There were a couple new menu items and new shirts and new buttons on the register, so I was asking more questions than I like, but eventually I think I got caught up. Glad to be working again :D.

Saturday I took the SAT! I'm nervous about sending my scores, since I don't know what they are. I'm trying to find a way around that at the moment. Other than not finishing the essay part for the third stinkin' time, I think I did alright.

Sunday I worked again, and Monday night when I got out of the shower my mom, who had just come home from work, knocked on the bathroom door and asked me to open it. I said I wasn't decent and she said to open the door, and I knew something was definitely up. She normally just breaks in. We have a sliding door. But anyway, I opened it and what did I see? The face of a miniature Doxen puppy. I didn't say anything because I was in shock, then later I asked "Can it walk?" because it wasn't walking and its legs are just so tiny! Then I asked my mom "So, what's the story?", wondering if it was a rescue or someone she knew was selling puppies or what. And she said "What do you mean, 'what's the story'? I bought a dog!" and walked off XD. As of now, his name is Peanut. And he is way too cute :). I ended up on puppy duty Monday night, and I blocked off the corner of the fireplace room with a table and the kennel(with newspaper) and a footstool, then slept on the floor with the baby. He kept trying to eat me, including my hair, but eventually got under the blanket with me and we fell asleep.

Tuesday I finally mailed my application for finalist standing in the National Merit Scholarship competition! My essay was pathetic, but at least I got it done :). The wonderful teacher who wrote my letter of recommendation for it signed the form, and it was finally COMPLETE :D. Went to Spanish class and learned about RADICAL stem changes. My teacher said RADICAL at least 27 times, trying to make sure we understood just how RADICAL a change it was. "o-ue is RADICAL. RADICAL stem changes. Do you understand what I'm saying? It is RADICAL! Not ordinary stem changes, RADICAL!!!". I ended up laughing XD. After class, went to the mall and mailed the magical envelope with the application inside. And it was the last day within the deadline too… cut that one close!

Wednesday in Physics I ran down a hallway and was supposed to knock a bag of beans out of the teachers hand. I hit it on my arm, and my arm turned red and a little welty. I hit it a teeny bit harder than I should've :D lol. I also dropped a bag of beans when I passed him, and that one burst open all over the place… so maybe I was just moving a mite too fast… though I wasn't really RUNNING, you know? World History was interesting enough, talked about Greece and then Rome, both of which I was actually interested in. I didn't fall asleep in class :).

Today, Thursday, I didn't work! I've been doing homework all day, and I've finally got each vacation picture from Tuesday saved as a draft, and am almost done working on moving them into one post. Some of my favorite pictures from the vacation are of my family and myself, but I won't be posting those, so not ALL of my favorites will be shared. But most will be :). I've also gotten to play with the puppy some today :D. It is CRAZY!

Tomorrow, Friday, I'm working again :). The local highschool is having a football game, and we should be really busy! I haven't worked game night before, and am excited/nervous. We'll see if I can 'handle it' ;). I didn't get but three days this week, and am hoping to get more next week. I miss my customers!

LAST NOTE: My Aunt just found out that her husband has lymphoma. Please, those of you who pray, pray for him, and for her. She has been through so much, and only married him last year. I'd never seen her so happy, and it kills me that she is in pain again. Thank you for any thoughts and prayers.

Until next time I get to catch my breath and TYPE,

--
"But you see, it's not me, it's not my family.
In your head, in your head they are fighting,
With their tanks and their bombs,
And their bombs and their guns.
In your head, in your head, they are crying..."


´¨)
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(¸.·´¸.·*´¨) *
(¸.· Elizabeth *´¨)
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(¸.·´*

Good News... Life is Insane... And I'm Really Sorry X-| (in reverse)

Before I start rambling, I'd like to apologize to everyone whose blog I follow. I promise I'm reading your posts, I just haven't had time to breathe much less comment! Also, thanks and sorry to those who have taken the time to comment, I really appreciate it and will respond asap. And fyi, Leanna from Violet Reaction is currently running a September special at her Etsy! She sells some beautiful handmade jewelry, and you can see the details on >this< post. And this beautiful jewelry can make a great gifts, so you males might be interested as well :).

A while ago I received some great news, but wasn't allowed to share until the 15th (then didn't have time!), so in a moment I'll spill the beans on that. This week has been, and will continue to be, crazy. Thursday, I was gone all day (went to the doctors, running errands, eating way too much at Red Lobster, etc.). Friday, I worked a 9-4, which was insanely busy. Lines of customers to the door, all day long. I'm glad for the hours, and was shown trust by my manager (I drove to a local school to deliver a teachers lunch, because it was missing from their weekly order, and ran like a crazy person) and a supervisor (she told another worker she wasn't needed, because she wanted me on the line instead, though I was off the clock. I stayed an hour later than scheduled to help out, and it was actually greatly appreciated :D). I didn't get to eat until 4:30, when I was home, then a couple hours later got online for the first time for over a day (gasp!). I had 22 unread items in google reader, and I actually took the time to read them all, so if I follow your blog I'm sorry I haven't been commenting, but I have most definitely been reading! Today, I had a store meeting at 7:30am (which I attended with wet hair, but afterward I went to our bathroom and used the super powerful hand dryer to blow dry my hair. Boss man laughed at me... lol), then I volunteered at a library book sale from 9-3 (came home with tons of books, respect for a woman I never knew before, and a smile on my face, which is miraculous). When I got home, I ate and changed, then worked a 4:30-9... so insanity. I haven't touched my homework, and I have to have an essay written this week for an application for finalist standing in the National Merit Scholarship competition... which is my good news!

The National Merit Scholarship Program is open to high school juniors taking the PSAT, which is why I took it during Junior year along with the SAT. My dad's rule was 'one test a year', but I begged for him to let me take two in Junior year, and he relented. (Freshman: PSAT. Sophomore: SAT. Junior: PSAT and SAT. Senior(aka THIS year): SAT). I made the top 16,000 (out of the 1.5 million juniors who took the test), which makes me a semi-finalist. Basically, once I fill out the application for finalist standing, I SHOULD become a finalist (fingers crossed! It is mostly based on grades, and mine are decent, so I should be okay). After that, it is a scholarship competition. I'll just see if I get anything :). Tomorrow night I work, then I have Monday off (so I guess I'll be doing an entire week's worth of homework in a day..... JOY TO THE WORLD!). Next weekend I'm taking off on vacation, so I might write my Music that Moves Me post ahead of time and schedule it, then just keep you updated on the trip when I can. I'll figure it out when I'm not as brain dead. I just wanted to let the world know I'm alive and... (well, not quite well, I'm on the verge of being sick)... so I'll just leave it at alive.
Also, I'd like to thank YOU Eldarwen, Kendra, and Camellia Dayla for following! It was such a wonderful surprise to log on and see you're following, and I hope that you enjoy what you read here!

P.S. Camellia, I saw on your profile that you'd like to go into suicide prevention. You might be interested in (if you're not already familiar with) To Write Love on Her Arms, a charity with a similar goal which I greatly admire :).

--
"But you see, it's not me, it's not my family.
In your head, in your head they are fighting,
With their tanks and their bombs,
And their bombs and their guns.
In your head, in your head, they are crying..."


´¨)
¸.·´¸.·*´¨)*´¨)
(¸.·´¸.·*´¨) *
(¸.· Elizabeth *´¨)
¸.·´ ¸.·*´¨) *
(¸.·´*