Music That Moves Me: One Day Like This

"Cause holy cow, I love your eyes
And only now I see you like
Yeah, lying with me half-awake
Stumbling over what to say
Well, anyway, it's looking like a beautiful day"
One Day Like This - Elbow

I hadn't heard this song before Leanna's post on Elbow, so thanks to you for sharing, Leanna :). I'm posting it today because yesterday... it was a beautiful day ^_^. Thanks to you, Henry, for making it so wonderful.



Let me know what you guys think! Also, I'd like to thank 'Piper Heartlock' :D, jackie housel, and GiGi for following-logging in and seeing that you found my blog worth reading was a wonderful surprise :). Sorry for not posting everyone... so much has happened lately, and I'm still figuring out what to share and how to share it. I might not post again until after the new year has begun, so I'm gonna go ahead and say HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! I hope that your celebrations are lots of fun, and that you all stay safe from the crazies on the roads :D. Until next time,


--
´¨)
¸.·´¸.·*´¨)*´¨)
(¸.·´¸.·*´¨) *
(¸.· Elizabeth *´¨)
¸.·´ ¸.·*´¨) *
(¸.·´*

Read This Post-Please, Your Prayers Are Needed

Hello everyone! I'm going to post about my birthday and Christmas plans and all of that materialistic crap soon, but there is something more important on my mind right now. There is an amazing young man who needs your prayer, as he is now fighting cancer-for the second time. One of my favorite bloggers, Laurea of Center Stage, has been pouring out her heart about what her 13 year old cousin, Joe, is going through. He battled bone cancer in his leg at the age of 8. His leg was amputated, and he survived... no, he didn't just survive-he lives and thrives and loves life. He participated in sports and was happy and everything was going great-and then on his 5th anniversary of being cancer-free, he was diagnosed with cancer yet again. Joe has a tumor in his lung, and is undergoing chemo to shrink it right now. And yet, somehow, he still has faith. He still believes in God's will, and doesn't turn with anger like most people would (I know I would). I'm asking all of you to pray for him, even if you wonder about whether or not it does any good. Even if your faith seems weak, like mine. Because HIS isn't, and if he isn't going to give up and mope and turn his back on God after what he has been through, what right do we have? Even if we've given up on God, he hasn't given up on us, and prayer is more powerful than we tend to believe. As Laurea said, "If we fight and pray together we can accomplish anything."


If you want more information, go to this post at Laurea's blog. You can also help by spreading the word and getting as many people praying as possible-blogging buddies, real life friends and classmates, your family, everyone! Don't underestimate the difference you can make. Thanks for reading and for praying,


´¨)
¸.·´¸.·*´¨)*´¨)
(¸.·´¸.·*´¨) *
(¸.· Elizabeth *´¨)
¸.·´ ¸.·*´¨) *
(¸.·´*

Dental Care

On Monday, my wisdom teeth were removed. First off, let me say that my dentist is amazing-what went wrong wasn't his fault, and I still trust him. He is actually a great man, and got me interested in maxillofacial surgery when I was 12 or 13 (even gave me a book on it, which I love), and is now trying to help me find financial aid options for Harvard. My teeth just happened to have grown into my jaw bones (called impaction), and they had to be sawn out. I was under much longer than expected, which means that my mouth was stretched open much longer than expected. As a result, the muscle fibers were pulled apart, and then when the operation was over they over-constricted, making me unable to open my mouth (which is called trismus). I had some pretty severe swelling, and on Tuesday my face was huge, but didn't hurt too bad. I took my medicine like a good girl, and laughed at my sister's 'chubby bunny' jokes. It hurt to talk and smile, but if I didn't move too much, I was alright.

"Talking only brings the toothaches on
Because I say the stupidest things
So if my resolve goes south
I'll swallow my pride with an aspirin
And shut my mouth"

Then, on Wednesday morning, I woke up at 5:12am crying like a baby because it hurt horribly, and my face was twice as large as the day before. The general lack of substantial food combined with my pain medicine (the main side effect of which is dizziness), meant I was kind of delirious and spent a lot of time fighting to keep my eyes open. You know that look that little boys get on their face when they see something gross, but fascinating? The slight head tilt and raising of the lip, with part of a smile and that certain 'whoa…' look in their widened eyes? That is how my MOM looked at me when she saw my watermelon of a head that morning. I couldn't go to school, and because it was obviously not normal, we called the dentist and went in there to see him, and he was pretty upset. Actually, his first question was "who are you?"! He then looked me in the eye, and said 'it hurts doesn't it?' and I nodded and was trying not to cry, and he said 'come here' and gave me a hug. Then, after we'd talked some about the pain, he asked me if I could open my mouth so he could check it out, and I was trying really hard but couldn't.
And so the torture commenced-he warned me it would hurt really bad, and then proceeded to try and stretch my jaw out. I have never felt pain like that (it was worse than my screwed up neck, for crying out loud!), and I was trying not to freak out because I knew he felt bad. I cried some, and was hyperventilating, and then my legs started shaking like crazy, all of which made me mad at myself because I hate being such a flipping drama queen! Eventually, he said 'I can't take this… it is like doing it to one of my kids!' and left the room with tears in his eyes. The nurse/hygienist lady was told to try it again in a minute, but she didn't. Instead, she told me to try it myself at home as much as possible, and I have been doing it some, just a little at a time. It makes me bleed a lot more, unfortunately :-P. When the dentist came back, he apologized for the pain and explained again how much he hates hurting people in general, and especially those he knows really well.
He gave me a shot in my arm to help with the pain and swelling, which was my favorite part of the visit-I have no problem whatsoever with needles, and my mom was freaking out, but I was able to tell her that I was okay and make her feel better. Calming her down helped to calm me down-my breathing became steady and I managed to smile! DEFINITELY my favorite part of the visit :D. He also prescribed an antibiotic, to help prevent infection. I asked how soon I would be back to normal, and he said not until Monday. My 18th birthday is Saturday. I will be forced to break the unwritten rule: you must look your best on your birthday. CURSES. I am able to open my mouth more now, though, which is great. It means I can eat with a spoon instead of just slurping stuff! And, thankfully, my Physics teacher has scheduled a teleconference for tonight to make up for me missing class on Wednesday, which was a master review in preparation for the final, so I'm very grateful for that as well. At this point, I'm just hoping the swelling and pain will go down some… at least enough for me to ignore it. Well, my head is spinning again from looking at this screen too long, so I better go…. Sorry for not commenting much, I haven't been awake and mentally functioning enough to read many posts, but I'm trying to get caught up.

Edit: This post was written yesterday, and since then the swelling has gone down some :D. I won't be normal tomorrow(as if I'm ever normal...), but I won't have a watermelon head either! Just a little swelling and (now) bruising. The physics review was also pretty helpful, I just need to study some more before I take the final. Well, I better go now. Thanks for reading, you really do rock ^_^.


´¨)
¸.·´¸.·*´¨)*´¨)
(¸.·´¸.·*´¨) *
(¸.· Elizabeth *´¨)
¸.·´ ¸.·*´¨) *
(¸.·´*

Music That Moves Us: Life Starts Now (my first guest post!)

Hello everyone! I'll post more about what happened later, but the bottom line is my wisdom teeth removal did not go well. I'm really swollen, and dizzy from the medicine, and was talking to my wonderful friend Henry about my music that moves me post-I had a great song picked out, but was struggling with writing anything decent because I'm so messed up right now(I'll post on that song another time). Then, I asked if he'd like to guest post! He has great taste in music, and is a great writer, and I'm honored that he is willing to do this for me! Thanks Henry-you're a life saver :). Without further ado, his post:

"You say you feel so down
Every time I turn around
And you say you should've been gone by now
And you, you think that everything's wrong
You ask me how to carry on
We'll make it through another day just hold on.

Cause life starts now.
You've done all the things that could kill you somehow
And you're so far down
But you will survive it somehow because life starts now"
Life Starts Now-Three Days Grace

I like this song because the singer encourages us that we will survive "it" somehow. When we're feeling down, sometimes it's so hard to see the bigger picture. Life doesn't end when we fail to do the thing we attempt; life starts NOW, when we make these decisions that will alter our attitudes and worldview. You can choose to remain down, and fix nothing, or you can get help from a friend, or parent or adult who has struggled with the same things you are going through (btw, if you don't feel like you have someone to talk to about your problems, I would urge you to talk to Elizabeth. She is a great encourager and sympathizer, and she will listen to you =) I'll let her give you her contact info). I guess one thing I'm trying to say is that you need someone to help you gain perspective over the situation. That's what the singer does for his friend in this song:

"All this pain,
Take this life and make it yours!
All this hate!
Take your heart and let it love again,
You will survive this somehow!!!"

When we lose perspective of what life means and what our purpose is, it's easy to feel like it's all over if we mess up. It is so important that you have a friend who can keep you focused, a friend who you can confide in with your decisions.

I hope the song helps you to keep perspective about life =) And I hope you enjoy! Take care,

-Henry

Thank you so much for this, Henry... great post :). And because I know how hard it can be sometimes to stay in perspective, and I know the value of encouragement and support and simply having someone to listen, I have no problem with talking any of you who need to let it out. My new email address is acollectionofreflections(at)gmail(dot)com, and don't hesitate to send me an email. I hope that you enjoyed this post, and the wonderful song! Also, thanks to Aaron/Nihil for following! Welcome to my bit of the blogosphere :). Thanks for reading everyone,


´¨)
¸.·´¸.·*´¨)*´¨)
(¸.·´¸.·*´¨) *
(¸.· Elizabeth *´¨)
¸.·´ ¸.·*´¨) *
(¸.·´*

Blog Party for Inspire!

There is a party going on with Farmgirl Writes, Living on Literary Lane, and Inspire! The goal is to get Stella more followers over at Inspire, and she is having a huge giveaway to do it!

If you go over and choose to follow, then answer the tag and link up, you are entered to win quite a variety of gifts. Stella's blog is lovely, and she also has two other design blogs, if you want to check those out :).

1. If you had to choose between living on a desert island or tropical rainforest for the rest of your life, which would you choose?
I'd have to go with tropical rainforest… even though I would hate the mosquitoes and humidity, I'd probably live longer than if I was left without water in the heat… actually, I'd probably die in EITHER environment! So… neither? LOL...
2. What is your favorite music CD right now?
At the moment, I'm revisiting an old favorite-Unbreakable, by Fireflight-which I hadn't listened to in a while until just a few nights ago. I love the lyrics to those songs… might have to post on a couple of them sometime.
3. If you were given the choice between wildflowers or roses - which would you pick?
It depends on the occasion… I don't really know, I mean, if someone was sweet enough to get me flowers I'm not sure I'd care what kind they were!
4. How much do you like notebooks? Is it mild, or are you absolutely obsessed with them?
Used to be obsessed, but now I just mildly like them… it is because I'm not writing as much, unfortunately!
5. What is your biggest goal this winter?
Get flipping caught up with my homework, enjoy my birthday, clean my room, enjoy Christmas, get my Google Reader EMPTY and deal with my 60 unread emails, try to lay down the burdens I have placed upon myself, talk to my friends as much as possible, and start posting regularly! And oh yeah, MORE college applications!
6. If you could change your hair however you wanted, what would you do?
FUN question. Shorter, definitely, and with the front right section dark, dark purple (demi-permanent, of course-I wouldn’t want permanent, just for fun).
7. Do you think Harry Potter is bad?
Allow me to quote Dumbledore on this one, "It is not our abilities that show what we truly are. It is our choices.". My mother was hesitant because the series is dark-there is definitely a dose of evil, and the series involves wizardry. But Harry Potter is NOT bad. The fact of the matter is, there is evil everywhere, right outside our own front doors. What is important about the series is that the main characters fight for justice and good and hope no matter what-in the face of the worst terrors their world holds they stick together and value friendship and love above all else. Yes, those characters have powers that we do not, but it isn't the magic that is important-it is the choices that those characters make.
8. Why do you think pink is a girls' color?
Because society is brutal and demands macho-ness from it's male members, or they are mocked into questioning their manliness. At least, that is how it was when I was little, but society is constantly changing form like a boggart so I can't swear to you now :).
9. Would you be up to singing a solo in front of a thousand people?
After a couple years of vocal lessons, SURE! XD
10. What colors look best on you?
Eggplant is the best, and then probably olive… though I wear a lot of black. I have hazel eyes, and shades of purple and green really make them pop.
11. If you had a different name, what would it be?
I… don't know. I AM Elizabeth. My first name just seems an inseparable part of my identity at this point… I guess after almost 18 years, I'm used to it!
12. Do you like...
boots or sneakers?
My two favorite pairs of shoes are my converse and my black boots. I refuse to decide!!!
flats or heels?
Heels-definitely. I'm actually more comfortable in them, because I have really high arches and they tend to support my feet better.
books or movies?
Both.
purple or pink?
Purple, always purple.
long hair or short hair?
Depends on the person's head.
a best friend or a group of friends?
I have a very small group of best friends, which is pretty awesome ^_^.
ice cream or cake?
"Ice cream... always has been, always will be"-I agree with Amanda 100%
plaid or polka dots?
Plaid… I've always disliked wearing dots… I don’t know why, but I do :).

If you actually read this-wow! Three tags in a row and you're still reading? You're too kind :). I love you guys, and will begin posting normally asap :). Thanks for everything,



´¨)
¸.·´¸.·*´¨)*´¨)
(¸.·´¸.·*´¨) *
(¸.· Elizabeth *´¨)
¸.·´ ¸.·*´¨) *
(¸.·´*

Awarded by Bleah!

The Versatile Blogger Award!

The Rules:

1. Thank and link back to who gave you the award.
Thanks Bleah :D!

2. Share 7 things about yourself.
1. On the 18th I'll be 18 years old.
2. Music is one of the things that has helped me make it to 18, and some of my favorite bands are Muse, The Cranberries, Queen, Skillet, Flyleaf, Paramore, and I just realized you can see a longer list of my favorite music on my profile, so this list isn't necessary… whoops.
3. I absolutely love to read, and read very quickly when I actually sit down and do it, but I haven't read much at all in the past couple months (which is tragic, for me).
4. When I go to college, I hope to learn more about biochemistry and biochemical engineering, and see if that is a career path I'm passionate about.
5. Respect, from me, must always be earned and be mutual. I don't respect someone because of their station-that someone is going to have to earn it, and treat me with some form of respect as well, or they can forget about it.
6. I have two geckos, one cat, and we just got a puppy (which is supposed to be my mom's). The geckos are Spaz and Greco, my lovely cat is named Angel (which is appropriate, she is so sweet), and the puppy is named Peanut.
7. And… I'm not sure what else to say? Lol, there we go: I stink at just talking about myself without some kind of prompt or springboard or direct question or something.

3.Pass it along to 7 bloggers who have recently commented on your blog. (I'm pulling up my comments list, and going from the most recent down-but if you've commented on ANY of my posts, consider yourself a recipient, okay? I appreciate you all equally!)
1. Shaynie
2. Antonia
3. Jinnyd
4. Leanna
5. Bleah already has it, because she gave it to me! :D lol
5. Camellia Day
6. Maximillian
7. Raja-Man

4. Leave the recipients a comment, telling them about the award. I'll try to leave a comment for you all, but the medicine I'm on right now is making me freakishly sleepy and dizzy(it just kicked in), so I'll do what I can. Thankfully, you all follow, so you can prolly see it without being told :). Talk to you all later, thanks for reading,

´¨)
¸.·´¸.·*´¨)*´¨)
(¸.·´¸.·*´¨) *
(¸.· Elizabeth *´¨)
¸.·´ ¸.·*´¨) *
(¸.·´*

"You're an Enigma, Wrapped in a Mystery..." (Music Tag from Antonia and Bleah!)

I got tagged with the same tag twice! Once by Bleah, from With Love and Kisses, and then by Antonia from Outside Into Life and Inside the Movies! Here are the rules:

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag 20 friends.
5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.
6. Have Fun!
Because this tag is so long, I'm going to copy Antonia's brilliant idea of making the funny/interesting answers a different color, and I'm going with purple because it is easy to read and... purple and black is my favorite color combo :D. I'm also linking to the ones I really love, so if you check them out let me know what you think!


And finally, here are the questions:

If someone says 'are you okay?' you say?
"My Paper Heart" - All American Rejects

What would best describe your personality?
"Renegade" - Styx (YES)

How would you describe yourself?
"25 Minutes To Go" - Pearl Jam (SERIOUSLY?!?! LOL For those who don't know, it is originally by Johnny Cash, and is about being hung…)

What do you like in a guy/girl?
"Brand New Lover" - Dead or Alive (Windows Media Player officially hates me)

How do you feel today?
"Magic Carpet Ride" - KSM (okay?)

What is your life's purpose?
"Life After Death and Taxes" - Relient K (thank you!!!!!)

What's your motto?
"God Don't Make Lonely Girls" - The Wallflowers

What do your friends think of you?
"Spirit of the Radio" - Rush (I really, really like this one ^_^)

What do your parents think of you?
"Help Me Remember" - Rascal Flatts (please, please, don't be an omen…)

What do you think about very often?
"Runaway" - Del Shannon (awesome!)

What is 2+2?
"I Don't Regret(Acoustic)" - BarlowGirl


What do you think of your best friend?
"Stay Home" - Self (not at all… but the song is still one of my old favorites)

What do you think of the person you like?
"Dark Blue" - Jack's Mannequin

What is your life story?
"You Are The One" - Elliot Yamin (not even sure if I've listened to this one, and I don't have the time now… LOL)

What do you want to be when you grow up?
"Zombie" - The Cranberries (THE CRANBERRIES ROCK!!! Oh, and yeah, I'd rather not be a Zombie… but I LOVE this song! Which is why I'm going to link to it!)

What do you think when you see the person you like?
"If No One Will Listen" - Kelly Clarkson (this song is truly beautiful, so I'm linking to it as well)

What will you do at your wedding?
"Catch Me" - Demi Lovato (apparently, I'm going to jump off of something… JK lol)

What will they play at your funeral?
"Don't Wait" - Dashboard Confessional (Surprisingly appropriate… at least if I die young. "The lights will flash and fade away/The days will pass you by/Don't wait/To lay your armor down")

What is your hobby/interest?
"Spanish Lady" - Celtic Woman (RFLOL!!!! No, just, no…. XD)

What is your biggest fear?
"Side Effects" - Mariah Carey Feat. Young Jeezy (decent fit… "Kept my tears inside/'cause I knew if I started I'd keep crying/For the rest of my life with you/I finally built up the strength to walk away/Don't regret it but I still live with the side effects/...Still little depressed inside, I fake a smile and deal with the side effects")

What is your biggest secret?
"17 Again" - Eurythmics (This title makes me laugh because of the Sammy Keyes books… cause my 18th birthday is coming up… LOL, glad my mom is NOTHING like Lady Lana)

What do you want right now?
"Bling (Confessions of a King)" - The Killers (LOL, okay… guess a little bling wouldn't hurt anything ;) )

What do you think of your friends?
"Big Casino (v2)" - Jimmy Eat World

What's the worst thing that could happen?
"Keep The Faith" - Bon Jovi (LOL, try BEST thing that could happen!)

What is the one thing you regret?
"Table For Glasses" - Jimmy Eat World

What makes you laugh?
"I Will Believe It" - Cascada (ouch?)

What makes you cry?
"6th Avenue Heartache" - The Wallflowers

Will you ever get married?
"Here(In Your Arms)" - HelloGoodbye (:D :D :D)

What scares you the most?
"I Got Money Now" - Pink (try the opposite!)

Does anyone like you?
"Come Together" - The Beatles

If you could go back in time, what would you change?
"One Step Closer" - Linkin Park (this is definitely about That Day for me, when I almost gave up… wow… "Cause I'm one step closer to the edge/I'm about to break" Linking to the song, because it rocks)

What hurts right now?
"Miami Vice Theme" - Jan Hammer (the last instrumental to top the Billboard Hot 100, and no lyrics to try and dissect and transform into something painful… bummer)

What would you want to say to the person who tagged you?
"No Surprise" - DAUGHTRY (Not true, Bleah! I actually clicked my name to see if I was the Elizabeth you were talking about, not expecting to be, and was really pleasantly surprised to see my profile come up! I might have let out a tiny squeal, actually… XD. And thanks Antonia for tagging me as well!)

WHAT WILL YOU NAME THIS NOTE?
"Energy" - Skillet \m/

Thanks Antonia and Bleah!


I tag:
Everyone reading this! You're supposed to tag 20 people, and though I have 27 followers, I'm guessing you're not ALL reading it, so everyone who is-consider yourself tagged! Tell me in a comment if you choose to do it :D. I'd love to see your answers!

P.S. I own three Muse albums, and didn't get a single Muse answer! I thought the odds were in my favor, but apparently they weren't... rather disappointing. For those of you who do it, may the odds be ever in YOUR favor! (Capitol accent ;) ).

--

´¨)
¸.·´¸.·*´¨)*´¨)
(¸.·´¸.·*´¨) *
(¸.· Elizabeth *´¨)
¸.·´ ¸.·*´¨) *
(¸.·´*

Overdue Fees

Yesterday I got something in the mail. From the library. And it said something along the lines of "Your book has been overdue for more than 28 days" which made me freak, then I remembered I'd checked it out before we left for somewhere and totally forgotten about it. Whoops. 'At least they only charge a dime a day, I mean, I can probably dig up 2.80 in change' I thought to myself, and then I continued reading the notice. What was the fine? $17.99. 18 dang dollars. I went temporarily insane, raving about how they never called or emailed me about the book, and it would probably cost less to claim that I'd lost the book and pay THAT instead of 18 dollars. So I hunted it down, searched all over my room, found it under a pile of school crap on my dresser, and checked the price: $17.99. So. That actually made sense… yeah. I'm hoping to have that straightened out tomorrow soon, tomorrow I'm getting my wisdom teeth out. But it reminded me of my favorite comic strip, Pearls Before Swine:



Yeah, pretty much.

Adventures in Therapy + Cookies For You!

(If you've commented on a post, I've responded now, just so you know)

So, first off with this therapy review, let me explain WHY I was going there. I've struggled with depression and anxiety for years, and am a miserable old hag ( ;) ), and can't seem to get happy. It comes from my negative living situation… which is kind of hard to explain briefly, but the bottom line is my father has hurt my mother, my siblings, and myself, and is psychologically unstable and emotionally abusive, but my parents are still married and I still live with them out of financial necessity.
I've suffered with guilt because of the sacrifices my mother has made in order to ensure I received a quality high school education and had a roof to live under. I developed self worth issues because I was always trying to earn my father's love, when no matter how hard I worked to be perfect I just couldn't be good enough for him. I have anxiety issues because of my financial situation-despite his substantial income, my father isn't paying for college, or my car insurance, or gas, and my job is minimum wage and hours vary. After this upcoming payment, I'm worried about whether or not I'll be able to cover the next one. I'm a fairly self-aware person, I know what my strengths and weaknesses are, and generally what they stem from. I went into that building unsure of what to expect from whoever I was talking to, but knowing there probably wouldn’t be any 'ah-ha!' moments for me.
When I met the woman, who was very kind and I will call Dr. H, she led me to her office, and when she opened the door I was trying really hard not to crack up. There was a COUCH! I mean, yes, it makes perfect sense she would want people to be comfortable, and I should have expected it, but I still wanted to laugh and say 'so that isn't just a stereotype, huh?' :D lol.
We talked for a bit, then we agreed to have momma join me, and together momma and I told her pretty much everything. Explained how my father has always treated me, how he doesn't love his own children and SCREAMS at me like a madman about the stupidest things. About how he ran off my older brother because he felt threatened by him, and how similar my brother and I are. About how he waits on my mother hand and foot, is always bringing her food, and is obsessive over her but treats me with hatred. We talked about the way that I've always demanded perfection from myself academically, because from an early age I knew that it was my only chance for a future. And she kind of suggested that it came from my father's unpredictability-I'm not in control of my home life at all, but I keep tight control of what I can. Which led to the fact that I keep really right control of my emotions, that I don't let myself feel much anymore… and after we had talked for a very long time, and had mentioned how great my brother is, and the fact that he built his house with two extra bedrooms just so that my mother, sister, and I would be able to move in if things got really, really ugly… she strongly recommended that I move in with my brother, because I'm obviously not handling my current situation well. My mom and I have talked about it since then, and I don't think I'm moving out yet… we'll see if we can just hang on till graduation. I also may or may not have gotten a new job at a dentist's office-which would be awesome! I'll be there Monday to get my wisdom teeth out, and hope to talk to our dentist more then (before I'm all loopy, obviously ;) ). Therapy actually went really, really well. Dr. H seemed genuinely concerned for my well-being, and kind of worried, but was really helpful with making thoughts organized for me and my mom. We're in sync now, which is really important with all of the changes coming up. After the fact, I've decided it was a great thing to do, even though I did spend a lot of the time having to relive painful memories :D lol. I'd also like to thank you Laurea, Jinnyd, Lia, and Shaynie for your input on this issue-I appreciate your support more than you can know :). And now, COOKIE TIME!!!! For you, Shaynie:

And for you, Jinnyd (check the link at the bottom for the recipe, if you're not a hazard in the kitchen like me! :D):

And for all of my other wonderful followers, enjoy the classic chocolate chip:

I wrote this post the other day (so I could let it sit overnight, and then I edited out a lot of personal backstory crap that was just plain depressing... LOL, that pun really wasn't intended), and at the moment I'm freakishly HAPPY (which is AWESOME) for a variety of reasons which I'd like to share (including you guys), and I've actually been tagged several times, and I heard an AMAZING song on the radio today that I simply have to post about (not sure yet if I'll let it wait till Wednesday) so I'm going to be posting a bit more than normal over the next few days (even though I really should be on a blogging haitus-WORLD HISTORY FINAL AND TONS OF HOMEWORK!!!! AHHH!). Wow, that was a lot of parentheticals... anyway, you can expect to hear from me again soon! Thanks you guys, for everything ^_^.

Snowman cookie pic from here.
Blondie pic from here.
Chocolate chip cookie pic is NOT mine, but I'm not posting the link to the site because it had a lot of other crap on it that had nothing to do with dessert.

--
´¨)
¸.·´¸.·*´¨)*´¨)
(¸.·´¸.·*´¨) *
(¸.· Elizabeth *´¨)
¸.·´ ¸.·*´¨) *
(¸.·´*

Music That Moves Me: The River (plus a mini-lecture, joy!)

"I've seen enough now
To know that beautiful things
Don't always stay that way
I've done enough now
To know this beautiful place
Isn't everything they say

I heard that evil comes disguised
Like a city of angels
I'm walking towards the light

Baptized in the river
I've seen a vision of my life
And I wanna be delivered
In the city was a sinner
I've done a lot of things wrong
But I swear I'm a believer
Like the prodigal son
I was out on my own
Now I'm trying to find my way back home
Baptized in the river
I'm delivered
I'm delivered"
Good Charlotte (ft. Avenged Sevenfold)

(The song ends at 3:15, after that there is a series of pictures of this person's dog, which passed away. Random, I know, but I can't blame them for doing a tribute. If you're listening, you can comment with your favorite dog breed ;)

Evil DOES come disguised, as something beautiful or fun or exciting and new. We slip into sin so easily, because to human eyes the lines of right and wrong can get blurry. And I think that it can be so easy to judge eachother based on those bad decisions we make-I know I don't care to hear about certain people's personal lives, because they are filled with sleeping around and getting drunk and high-because I HATE the choices they are making. But the bottom line is, we are ALL sinners, and we are ALL God's children. So hate the sin, by all means, but don't hate the sinner. I know it sounds cliched, but I see it all the time from self-proclaiming Christian youth-that condescending attitude toward the lost. Though I have never made those choices, I have lost touch of God before, and it isn't easy. I am a Christian, but don't advertise because I'm not a good one. My faith is weak-but I'm working on it. What I'm asking from those of you who do advertise is to show a little love to those who are lost. Don't make church and Christianity itself seem exclusive, because God isn't, and we all need His love.

"Like the prodigal son
I was out on my own
Now I'm trying to find my way back home
Baptized in the river
I'm delivered"

Anyway, sorry for the mini-lecture... don't know where that came from. Let me know what you think of the song :). If you like it at all, check out Misery (another GC fave of mine). If you check out Misery, let me know what you think of it as well!
Also, a huge HELLO! to Raja-Man (who is my 25th follower! I was secretly hoping I'd hit 25 by Christmas, so yay for that!). Thanks for following, Raja-Man, I hope that you enjoy what you read here :).

--
´¨)
¸.·´¸.·*´¨)*´¨)
(¸.·´¸.·*´¨) *
(¸.· Elizabeth *´¨)
¸.·´ ¸.·*´¨) *
(¸.·´*

-not really a post-

I don't have the time or energy to do my Music that Moves Me post tonight, but I will tomorrow, and I'll also respond to comments and tell you guys how today went (I had an unpleasant surprise at school, and then my first time at therapy). Thank you each so much-I really loved reading what you had to say. I'll be more specific tomorrow :). Until then,

~Elizabeth~

The Recent Past and Not-So-Distant Future (in the form of a list!)

I wanted to update you all about what is going on with me, because things have been crazy, but I haven't much time to write a full post and I really need to get organized. What I've decided to do is write out a list, with what I've done in the past week first and then a To Do list for the upcoming week.

-Went to the doctor with my mom, who was having pain in the back of her head and in her eyes. My first thought was occipital lobe. When she got blood drawn, she suddenly shut down-slumped over some, stared blankly into the distance, was not responsive in any way. Couldn't get any reaction, not a blink or a movement or anything, for a long time. Eventually, she shuddered back to life, and tears were pouring down her face, but she still couldn't talk. After a very long while, and being given soda and crackers, she was back to normal, but that was pretty much the most afraid I've ever been. I thought she was dying right in front of me. Still don't know what was wrong. Trying to remain calm.

-Survived the December 1st application deadline, but not as successfully as I wanted. I got some in, but not others, and I haven't been that proud of any of my essays, so I'm not optimistic about the college hunting process right now.

-Last Wednesday, felt like a piece of crap, and didn't go to school. Head, stomach, everything was hurting. Felt better that evening, and bad again the next morning. Just messed up right now.

-Got written up at work. For the second time. I didn't post about the first time, because I got over it pretty quick and didn't dwell, but the second time followed the first far too quickly, and my hours are pretty minimal right now, and the 'problem' I have is 'being too slow'. If you aren't ever working, it is really hard to get practice and get faster, and I've had this job for a year and have NEVER been told I'm too slow until just recently, which ticks me off because if there was a problem before nobody bothered to tell me. The first time I was written up, I was also written up for questioning authority (which caught me off guard, because while that is my nature, I didn't realize I had done any such thing at work, at least, not unless it was warranted). The second time, I listened to a supervisor who told me not to do certain things which needed doing one night I worked, so I got written up for not doing my job(and so did the supervisor, for not doing her job, but SERIOUSLY?). I'm losing either way. If I get written up one more time, I'm fired. So… I need to figure out how to win. Really stinking badly.

-Went to my town's parade, for the first time-and was IN it-on the day of the first snow of the season for me :). The snow literally started falling as I pulled into the parking lot, and then came down really hard while we (it was a work thing, so 'we' means my bosses, coworkers, and I) decorated the float. Absolutely froze to death, got soaked, wasn't allowed to wear a coat, and still managed to enjoy myself ^_^. I mostly loved seeing customers from work and other people lining the streets, smiling, and little kids yelling 'SUBWAY ROCKS!' and getting to shout 'YOU GOT THAT RIGHT!' right back at them, while clumsily pelting them with candy because I couldn't feel my hands. First time driving in snow too, actually, which wasn't a big enough deal for me to realize until just this second. Lol :).

-Worked this past weekend, got upset with myself for not remembering a certain discount related rule. Just frustrated, because I feel that none of my coworkers like me, and I haven't done anything horribly offensive, and they're all complaining about me behind my back, but no one has the guts to be honest with ME. I'd rather be told straight up 'I don't like the way you do this and that' than get blindsided. Seriously, work is starting to feel like Survivor, and I'm not in any alliances, so... not sure how long I'll last at this point.

Yesterday and today, I worked on catching up with blogs and commenting. I've gotten the 78 unread/starred items in reader reduced to 25 :). I hate it when I read an awesome post, and want to comment, but I can't at the moment, so I mark it unread and/or star it, then I don't get around to it for several days :-P. I ALSO tried to catch up with my homework, which I am behind on. And so here is my homework To Do List:

• Finish Module Notes
• Finish Physics Test
• Finish Lab 7.1
• Prep Labs 8.1 and 8.2, including data tables
• Read two World History chapters
• Study World History

I need to have that all done by 7:45am Wednesday. THEN, after class, I get to go to therapy-for the first time. As a few of you may know, I've struggled with depression and anxiety for years, and while the concept of spilling my life's story to a complete stranger, who really can't do anything about my living situation, sounds pointless to me… talking it out is supposed to help. My mom scheduled it, and she went last week, and it helped her focus a bit, so we'll see how it goes. I'm… wary, and very… hesitant? about it. Definitely not excited. Kind of worried I'll either A) Sit there glaring at the woman, or B) Bawl and bawl and have to be dragged out by security. Have any of you battled depression and gone to therapy? Any advice?

On December 13th, I'm getting my wisdom teeth taken out. I'm not worried about the procedure, just concerned that I'll still be slightly loopy when....(see next point)

On December 15th, I'm taking an in-class World History final, which I am truly concerned I will fail. I'm not saying that because I'm paranoid or so I can blow your minds with an 'unexpected' A; I know what I do and do not know, and all those names and dates go in one ear and out the other. I haven't failed a single class in highschool, my academic record is flawless, and this is the one class I NEED to pass in order to graduate. It is also the class that I have disliked the most, and retained the least information from. I aced Chemistry easy-but World History is killing me, largely because there haven't been any tests or major assignments beyond reading, so I don't know what I NEED to know and feel like I don't know anything, because there was so much information we read and I retained so little of it. So… wish me luck on that! :-P lol.

On December 18th, I am officially 18 years old! Officially an old fart, according to my friend. But he's already an old fart, so I think he's just trying to feel better about himself ;).

So anyway, things have been and will continue to be kind of crazy around my house. I'm stressed about a lot of different things, and am really worried about my mother's health. That incident at the doctor's office was so scary… anyway, if you could pray for her health, I'd appreciate it. And WOW, even just doing a point-by-point list of what is going on I wound up blabbing, and I left out TONS of information! Oh well, any of you who actually read this entire post-you get an imaginary cookie. Comment and tell me what kind of cookie you want, okay? I'll give it to you in the next post! :D Until next time, my wonderful readers (and I really am grateful for each of you :),

--
"But you see, it's not me, it's not my family.
In your head, in your head they are fighting,
With their tanks and their bombs,
And their bombs and their guns.
In your head, in your head, they are crying..."


´¨)
¸.·´¸.·*´¨)*´¨)
(¸.·´¸.·*´¨) *
(¸.· Elizabeth *´¨)
¸.·´ ¸.·*´¨) *
(¸.·´*

Tagged by Ayla!

The rules are simple-list 7 likes, 8 hates, and 1 love, in that order. My likes are so strong they are kind of loves… but I can only have one love, so consider these likes almost loves, okay? ;).

I like staring at the moon late at night and dreaming with my eyes open.
I like music-it keeps me moving.
I like to ride around with my mom or sister, bickering and laughing and blasting music and not having a care in the world.
I like shoes-including stilettos and converse (as long as there isn't a pointy toe. I just can't stand pointy toed shoes… at least not on my feet… lol)

I like the feeling of accomplishment that comes with FINISHING a difficult task.
I like my customers at work! They make the job worth doing, and my regulars bring a genuine smile to my face when they walk through that door.
I like knowing that I have select people I can completely trust, and that if I need a shoulder to cry on it will be there.

I hate self-righteousness and hypocrisy.
I hate the way that girls feel about and treat themselves today, because of society's ridiculous and extreme concepts of beauty and worth. Wearing inch-thick eyeliner isn't beautiful or natural, and neither is being nothing but skin and bones. Sleeping with a bunch of guys doesn't make you more desirable-it makes you someone who finds her worth in others, and has none on her own. Ladies, we're worth more than that!
I hate drama.
I hate when people bash something JUST because it is freakishly popular (like haters of Twilight or Justin Bieber). If you've actually read/listened/given it a shot, and don't like it, fine. But that doesn't mean you should HATE it, or its followers.
I hate depression. When I don't want to live, when my heart goes numb because all I feel is pain, when I forget I'm not alone...and I hate that others feel the same way.
I hate it when people talk trash behind your back but won't say it to your face.
I hate it when someone decides to be insulted, when no insult was intended.
I hate how so many people stick themselves inside of boxes, how they desperately cling to labels in order to have some form of identity. Make up your own mind about what you like, don't let others' expectations define you.

I love LOVE. Heavenly, motherly, fatherly, brotherly, sisterly, friendly, romantic, it doesn't matter! Love is a beautiful and powerful thing. If people would learn to stop hating so much, and just show each other a little honest love and compassion and sympathy, the world would be a less hideous such a beautiful place. Love changes everything.



Boot pic from here.
Music pic from here.

I tag anyone who wants to do it!

--

´¨)
¸.·´¸.·*´¨)*´¨)
(¸.·´¸.·*´¨) *
(¸.· Elizabeth *´¨)
¸.·´ ¸.·*´¨) *
(¸.·´*

Giving Thanks+Fun at a Red Light!

Thanksgiving, such a glorious holiday where we all stuff our faces and remain full for days... at least, everyone I've talked to about their Thanksgiving said with a smile and a distant expression 'I ate too much...' :D. Mine was bittersweet. Started off rough, family arguing...my dad was trying to get my mom to go to a movie that afternoon, and she didn't want to go without me, and he was freaking out because he wasn't getting his way. Then I got to go to Henry's house to celebrate with his family and have lunch, which was absolutely wonderful! His family was fun to be around, and it was (kinda) his dad's birthday, and his dad's sister (so Henry's aunt) made an absolutely amazing cake that looked like a cooked turkey! The food was great, and MG, Henry's sister, showed me how to make a cootie-catcher with post-its(I hadn't made one in years, and had forgotten how).

I showed her how to make an origami frog, and then we made a bunch, and I accidentally made one jump into Henry's cup of coffee XD. Then she got a sheet of green paper and made a HUGE one, but it couldn't jump worth a fart :). My neck was still hurting a little, but it wasn't cry-my-eyes-out pain, it was more dang-I-shouldn't-keep-turning-my-head pain. It would have been nice to talk more, but I had a lot of fun and am so grateful that he was willing to share his family and that day with me :). I wish I hadn't had to leave...but eventually I did, and when at home watched a movie with my parents (The Expendables, actually... LOL) then carried on with my day as if it wasn't a holiday. I loved seeing everyone's 'Happy Thanksgiving' posts, and this was part of one of my favorites:
"Before you pass out from the spread of food upon the dining room table...
Before you enter the rush of the Christmas season, awaking at 3am to grab the "hottest" deals of the season...
Before it becomes politically correct to refer to it merely as Turkey Day...
Can we stop?
Thanksgiving. Merriam Webster defines this as the act of giving thanks; a prayer expressing gratitude; and a public acknowledgement or celebration of divine goodness.
That cuts me to my core, what about you? I don't know if I've ever stopped to read the definition before, but that's loaded with a basis in God and in His providence." (from Lane Lareau, see here)
I've never actually seen the definition of Thanksgiving before. And really, that is what the day is about, right? So my family didn't have a meal together, no one cooked anything, the house was a wreck and we watched a violent movie. That isn't reason for me to be disappointed-if anything, I should be laughing! Actually, I'm laughing right now! But the bottom line is, I have so MUCH to be grateful for.

Right now, I am thanking you God, and I hope you can hear me. For my confidant and faithful friend, Henry. For momma. For A being such a great friend even though I'm horrible at replying to emails! For my wonderful brother and for Mrs. A. both supporting me despite my failings. For my other couple friends who still love me even though I'm the most horrible friend in the world. For my job, even though things aren't going that great lately. For letting me be a Semifinalist! For my SAT scores rising. For those people I've never let myself invest in, but who seem more than ready to be there for me anyway. For my family's health and the roof over our heads. I am so very fortunate... and I know that I don't thank you enough. So, from here on out, I'm going to try my hardest to remember the good things and stay positive. In the past couple weeks, my depression has really taken a toll on me, and I'm simply not feeling good right now. I actually didn't go to school today, for the first time in my life, because I just didn't think I could take it. But I am alive. And I will get through this ginormous pile of crap that is my life. And then I'll take a long, hot, shower and get all clean and comfy, and smile and thank you yet again for helping me through it all. Thanks again,
Your Lost Child, Elizabeth

OKAY, well now that I've gotten that out, FUNNY STORY TIME! The other day I was on my way home from work, and was at a red light, and a song I love came on the radio(mentioned here), and I started bouncing around the car like a crazy person. I turned it up so loud the car was shaking, and I was really really cold, which meant I was moving more than normal because I WAS COLD, even though I was wearing a scarf and my leather jacket! After I'd danced and beat up my steering wheel for a while, I remembered that I was wearing a santa hat.

Why? Because for the entire month of December, it is part of my uniform, and I am not allowed to work without it. So eventually the light turned green, and I was driving along, and the person on the other side of the intersection wasn't going even though the light was green, and I wondered why until I passed them and saw the head of the driver turn around to look at the twiggy chick in a leather jacket blasting Rise Against on the day after Thanksgiving... in a santa hat. Apparently, they didn't notice the light had changed.... LOL :D.

Anyway, sorry for the random and disconnected post... lol. Also, I'd like to thank you my followers for reading, including my newest follower Sarah! You guys rock!

´¨)
¸.·´¸.·*´¨)*´¨)
(¸.·´¸.·*´¨) *
(¸.· Elizabeth *´¨)
¸.·´ ¸.·*´¨) *
(¸.·´*

Frog Image from here.

Santa Hat Image from here.

Music That Moves Me: Savior

This song, simply put, rocks. I've heard it on the radio a lot recently, love it every time, and the day after Thanksgiving had way too much fun dancing to it at a redlight (see details in next post... lol).

What do you guys think? Have you heard it before? Love it, hate it?

P.S. Sorry this is so short, the post was deleted, then I retyped the whole thing, then it got deleted again, then got deleted halfway through me retyping it... so I decided to keep it brief before I broke something.