Time is Running Out

You've probably heard that phrase before--I know I have a million times. Deadlines over school or tasks at work, time is always running out to accomplish something--or at least, that is the way it seems, with those deadlines we choose to create. But what about REAL deadlines in life? Personally, I've been thinking about that a lot lately. Heading off the college in the fall is going to tear me away from my parents and siblings and friends, but there's always next summer to spend time with them, right? What about my grandparents that I never see? My grandparents that love me but live so far away we don't see eachother, my grandparents who are beginning to have issues with health or memory, my grandparents who won't ALWAYS have next summer. Yet, do any of us truly have a guarantee of next summer? Life is short--sometimes much shorter than expected. And only in these past several weeks have I begun to LIVE in a way that acknowledges that. My sister and I have been spending more time together, I'm hanging out with the girl across the street, I just visited my family in Georgia… I'm focusing more on what matters, and what matters is relationships with people. I hadn't seen my grandparents in GA in quite a while, and when we arrived and I hugged Papa, I told him I loved him, and he quietly said "I love you too" and got tears in his eyes… and in that moment I couldn't remember why I ever considered not coming on this trip. Sure, I had reasons--I've got deadlines to meet for school, need to finish shopping and getting my books and making decisions and paying bills, and I haven't blogged properly in ages(even missed my one year blogoversary)--but in the end, all of that is relatively inconsequential. My Papa means so much more to me than that. And so does my sister, and my mom, and my brother, and certain friends. It is so. freaking. easy., especially in this day and time with the advances in technology, to forget how much more important human relationships are than impersonal updates on facebook or funny videos on youtube. This coming week I've chosen to go to a movie with someone I don't know all that well, but would like to, go whitewater rafting with the girl across the street, and go to Ohio to visit my relatives on the other side of my family. Yet another trip at one point I considered missing out on. Yet more time away from college preparations. But it's worth it, because you never know how much time you've got left. And I guess that's the point of this post--time is precious, and so are the people you love, so why not spend what time you have with them? These past several weeks I've enjoyed my life more than I have since… well, as long as I can remember. It's a pity it took me so long to figure it out.

Oh, It Is Love (Holiday Update + An Acceptance Letter!)

"How was your winter break?"

"Three days were wonderful, and the rest pretty much sucked. How was your break?"

Hmmm… not sure if honesty is the most socially accepted way to answer that question, but honesty IS the best policy, so I just might go with that. You see, I was thinking the other day about school starting back, and what I'd say to those smiling faces who actually dare to try talking to the sullen mute depressing blah I've become. And in my head, that was the simplest summary of my break possible. Which caused me to seriously think about WHY that was the case. Well, how about we look at those three wonderful days?

My 18th Birthday-my family and I went to see Tron in theaters, and met Henry there :). On the way there, my dad was a total jerk and actually shocked us all into silence with his hostility. I mean, it was my 18th birthday, AND I wasn't feeling too good, and he chooses right before we get to the theater to go psycho about tickets and how I shouldn't assume that he was paying for ANYTHING and more I don't even want to think about right now. My mom sister and I were taken aback, and I wanted to beat the snot out of him, but when we were walking up to the theater and I saw Henry I felt worlds better. We all watched the movie, and afterward came home and I had a peanut butter fudge shake from Sonic while everyone else ate pizza. Then, Henry and I watched How To Train Your Dragon in the living room, and I fell asleep… I was still on pain meds and antibiotics, and had been fighting to keep my eyes open all day. It was great, though, because he was still there when I woke up, and gave me the most wonderful birthday card ever written, and was there to hold me as I fought tears of joy ^_^. So, bottom line, my birthday started really rough but wound up wonderful :).

Christmas Eve-my brother and his wife came over, and we opened up a couple gifts, and they gave us their Wii :D. We played it for most of the night, and there was a lot of laughter as my mom learned how to drive on Mariokart XD. After they left, we opened the rest of our gifts, and people liked what I gave them, and I loved my presents, and it was just a lot of fun. I loved seeing momma HAPPY… when she smiles it really does warm my heart. She doesn't smile enough… during the holiday season we call my dad the Grinch, and Christmas is always a desperate attempt to make the day great despite the familial warfare, and this year WE BEASTED. So yeah, I'm happy about it.

December 28th-Henry invited me to celebrate Christmas with his family, and they were getting together that evening. We ate, and talked, and his family is pretty amazing :). They opened gifts, and his family and his aunt actually got me presents, which I wasn't expecting at all, and about made me cry happily... Henry loved his gift(a clan crest key fob-his family is of Scottish descent), which made my lungs feel like they were going to burst I was so relieved and overjoyed!!! I thought it was cool, and was hoping he did too :D :D :D. I gave MG, his awesome sister, Flipped by Wendelin Van Draanen and The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, both of which are personal favorites. She hasn't gotten to HG yet, but read Flipped and loved it! YAY! Anyway, after we opened presents us three, Henry, MG, and I, went outside and played in the snow-something I haven't done in years. The stars shone brightly, and we laughed, and pelted each other with snow, and made snow angels, and more :). It was just a magical evening ^_^.

And the rest of the days of my break? I worked some (got told to look for another job by my manager, who simply said that I wasn't 'raunchy and wild' enough to fit in with my coworkers, and just didn't belong. Not kidding. I'm okay with it though… I'll explain further if anyone cares to hear details), slept a LOT (I met with a clinical psychologist, who I didn't like that all, and he prescribed a low dose antidepressant to help me cope with my 'situational depression', which I DO like because it seems to be helping, but it made me freakishly drowsy all the time, so I'm now taking it at night), and was mostly home with my dad… and we don't get along. When the new year arrived, I was home alone with D. A little while after an awkward toast, I went to the bathroom and was fighting tears, chewing myself out for being an emotional wreck. This year will be a HUGE one for me-I'm FINALLY moving out, going to college, growing up, breaking FREE from this prison. I'm going to need my mom's support more than ever… and she, and my sister, were at work when the ball dropped. It wasn't their fault, and I'm not mad about it at all, it just felt wrong. Everything has felt wrong lately. The biggest difference between those few great days and all of the crappy ones is who I was with. On those three days, I was with people I love, and who love me. I was able to laugh, able to smile… and the rest, not so much. I'm sorry I haven't posted, or read your posts or commented. I'm just disconnected right now, emotionally detached, and haven't even been checking my email.

Anyway, on a VERY POSITIVE NOTE: I've been accepted to the Great University, and received the Presidential Scholarship-which means full tuition! It is really amazing, and I'm so fortunate… I'll be going there next weekend for a scholars' dinner and a campus tour. I can't wait! Right now that is the only college that has given me a response, but I can't imagine getting a better offer than that…. I guess I'll see ^_^. I'm also making another college visit next week, and school starts back tomorrow, so I'm going to have to snap out of this and really get myself moving. There is too much to be done for me to be a space cadet! Thankfully I know that no matter how hard it gets, I'll make it-because I'm not alone, no matter how alone I feel sometimes. I am loved, and focusing on that fact is what has allowed me to smile at all during my time in this house. Soon enough, I will be free… anyway, I'm sorry for vanishing everyone. I hope you haven't given up on me! I also hope that you had a wonderful Christmas, that you were able to spend time with loved ones, and that this coming year is better than last year was for all of you :).

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"But you see, it's not me, it's not my family.

In your head, in your head they are fighting,

With their tanks and their bombs,

And their bombs and their guns.

In your head, in your head, they are crying..."

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(¸.· Elizabeth *´¨)

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Tagged by Ayla!

The rules are simple-list 7 likes, 8 hates, and 1 love, in that order. My likes are so strong they are kind of loves… but I can only have one love, so consider these likes almost loves, okay? ;).

I like staring at the moon late at night and dreaming with my eyes open.
I like music-it keeps me moving.
I like to ride around with my mom or sister, bickering and laughing and blasting music and not having a care in the world.
I like shoes-including stilettos and converse (as long as there isn't a pointy toe. I just can't stand pointy toed shoes… at least not on my feet… lol)

I like the feeling of accomplishment that comes with FINISHING a difficult task.
I like my customers at work! They make the job worth doing, and my regulars bring a genuine smile to my face when they walk through that door.
I like knowing that I have select people I can completely trust, and that if I need a shoulder to cry on it will be there.

I hate self-righteousness and hypocrisy.
I hate the way that girls feel about and treat themselves today, because of society's ridiculous and extreme concepts of beauty and worth. Wearing inch-thick eyeliner isn't beautiful or natural, and neither is being nothing but skin and bones. Sleeping with a bunch of guys doesn't make you more desirable-it makes you someone who finds her worth in others, and has none on her own. Ladies, we're worth more than that!
I hate drama.
I hate when people bash something JUST because it is freakishly popular (like haters of Twilight or Justin Bieber). If you've actually read/listened/given it a shot, and don't like it, fine. But that doesn't mean you should HATE it, or its followers.
I hate depression. When I don't want to live, when my heart goes numb because all I feel is pain, when I forget I'm not alone...and I hate that others feel the same way.
I hate it when people talk trash behind your back but won't say it to your face.
I hate it when someone decides to be insulted, when no insult was intended.
I hate how so many people stick themselves inside of boxes, how they desperately cling to labels in order to have some form of identity. Make up your own mind about what you like, don't let others' expectations define you.

I love LOVE. Heavenly, motherly, fatherly, brotherly, sisterly, friendly, romantic, it doesn't matter! Love is a beautiful and powerful thing. If people would learn to stop hating so much, and just show each other a little honest love and compassion and sympathy, the world would be a less hideous such a beautiful place. Love changes everything.



Boot pic from here.
Music pic from here.

I tag anyone who wants to do it!

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(¸.· Elizabeth *´¨)
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Music That Moves Me: < 3

Hello Everyone! First off, huge thanks to those who commented with their favorite love songs-I really appreciated it! Unfortunately, I was not able to find them all on playlist.com (the site didn't have a SINGLE Switchfoot song, and not much Underoath! How wrong is THAT?!?!), but I did find some by the same artists to add to the playlist and also some youtube videos to go with the post! Without further ado-your favorites :).

Enough to Let Go-Switchfoot:

You Had Me At Hello-A Day To Remember:

Speak To Me Gently-Future of Forestry:


And lastly, the playlist itself!!!

I think I'll let the playlist be one that keeps on growing, so if one day driving down the road you hear a love song that takes your breath away-you can still comment on the original post and I'll add it if I can :).

P.S. Thanks Tunafish(Jesus love you too! :D) and Toyin O. for stopping by!


--
"But you see, it's not me, it's not my family.
In your head, in your head they are fighting,
With their tanks and their bombs,
And their bombs and their guns.
In your head, in your head, they are crying..."


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(¸.·´¸.·*´¨) *
(¸.· Elizabeth *´¨)
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(¸.·´*

Elizabeth the Human, What's Your Favorite Love Song?

"I'm in love, I'm in love, and I don't care who knows it!!!!!"-Buddy the Elf... and yeah, I'm serious :). Plus, Elf is just one of the most amazing Christmas movies EVER!!!

"Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color?"

Anyway, I've been working on a favorite love songs playlist for several weeks, and Henry was a huge help. Then, the other day, when I saw Camellia Day's post with a couple of her favorite love songs, I realized Guardian Angel was perfect for my playlist-I just hadn't thought of it. Which got me to thinking (very dangerous), and what I've decided to do is ask YOU, fellow bloggers, to share your favorite love songs, and then next Tuesday I'll find them on all playlist and add them, and Wednesday I'll post the finished playlist here as my Music That Moves Me post! You can comment, email me at acollectionofreflections@gmail.com, or comment on the playlist's page here, and send your favorite music lovers over here to contribute as well :). The more people get on board, the bigger the playlist and more varied the songs! Any genre, any style, will be accepted, I'm only a nazi when it comes to lyrics :) (though I have to admit, the playlist is currently too pop-heavy... some deleting will probably take place, unless I get a lot of rock balads suggested to balance it out). I think it would amazing for us to work together and make an ultimate love songs playlist!

Also, I'm leaving tomorrow to go visit a college in Virginia, and will be gone all weekend. So this is goodbye for now, but I'll be back soon, and consider the post on Wednesday my official return to regular blogging and my weekly music post :).

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(¸.· Elizabeth *´¨)
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