"Waiting for the end to come Wishing I had strength to stand This is not what I had planned It's out of my control...."
As most of you know, my time at home wasn't the easiest or the most pleasant. The end of the summer was fun, but only because I was practically living outside of the house, be it on the road or at the USNWC or at my sister's place. But overall, my depression had me in a tight grasp, and I was struggling with my concerns regarding college as well. I was waiting, just waiting, for my time there to come to an end, and praying with all my might that I could stay strong and not break under the pressure until then. "All I wanna do is trade this life for something new, holding on to what I haven't got." There was a time when I was simply clinging to an idea, the vague and alien idea of freedom, and desperately so. Parts of this song perfectly describe my past, the feelings I had of exhaustion and weakness, that feeling of waiting… and then the wait was over.
"So, picking up the pieces, now where to begin? The hardest part of ending Is starting again"
and now I fear I'm starting to slip into a whole new world of waiting for the end...
"Sitting in an empty room, Trying to forget the past, This was never meant to last, I wish it wasn't so..."
My fear? Losing this. This freedom, this happiness, this whole new world I've been blessed with. My new family, these people I love, this distance from everything I hated back home. I'm on scholarship. And I'm going to fail at least… 2 classes, maybe 3. Which means my GPA is hosed. In addition, in doing so terribly academically, I've risked losing my friends simply by disappointing them all… I fear some of them are growing tired of caring so much when I'm not making much progress fixing things. I'm still trying to figure it out, and I'm battling the pessimistic idea of waiting for the end to this happiness. I fear it isn't meant to last. But I'm determined to MAKE it last. Okay, so I've already ruined this semester. I've partly accepted that. But next semester I'm going to take control, because next semester it really counts. Anyway, I guess overall, I like this song because I most strongly associate it with my past, with waiting for THAT to come to an end, and with that ending and me having the chance to start over here. I could take up that attitude again, but I'm not planning on it--I fear it, but I will not choose it.
The other day at dinner this song played over the radio, and I said "I love this song." My friend Jonathon asked "what does it mean?," and that is what prompted this poorly written post. Just ramblings I guess. But anyway, Jonathon is one of my best friends here, and is new to blogger--if a couple of you could hop on over to Life of a Jonathon and see if you care to follow, I'd appreciate it, and I know he would as well. Love you guys, and talk to you more later,
"Odd one, you're never alone I'm here and I will reflect you Both of us basically unattached To anything or anyone unless we're pretending You live your life in your head Some call it imagination I'd rather focus instead on anything except What I'm feeling What I'm feeling Odd one...
Hey, it's gonna be okay Hey, we're gonna laugh at this one day
Odd one, I wish I was you You're never concerned with acceptance We are all desperately seeking out, And fitting in with anyone Who will accept us But not you, odd one
Hey, it's gonna be okay Hey, we're gonna laugh at this one day (x3)
Don't let someone tell you you're no-one"
I love this song, a song of empowerment for the outcast. It sounds a little melancholy at first, but the chorus is really strong and positive. It just has a great message, much like Maybe (also by the Sick Puppies, which is where the line 'maybe I'm a dreamer' in my signature comes from… I might post about that song soon). Anyway, this one's for all of you who are unique and proud, for all the outcasts and the 'odd ones'-aka, all the awesome people. Don't ever let anyone put you down, because you freakin' rock (unless you're a close minded judgmental hypocrite who doesn't show other views any respect. Then I probably wouldn't like you). Hope you all enjoy the song :).
"Lord you’ve been so good to me, and this is why I praise you, this is why I love you You’ve been there through my tears and through my pain Over and over again (Chorus) You bless me over and over again Even when I’m not deserving"-Over and Over, Trin-i-tee 5:7
My cup floweth over as of late, and I've been so blessed, yet all I see is that my mom keeps nagging me over getting rid of things. I've screamed into my pillows to release the frustration, instead of reminding myself I need to purge because I'm GOING TO COLLEGE, something I never thought possible. God has blessed me with a scholarship, with a future, with an amazing few weeks of being a part of something I'd always wanted to, a film. He's blessed me with wonderful friends, including YOU, with my sister… with a lot of things. And I needed the reminder today.
"I don't need my name in lights, I don't need a starring role Why gain the whole wide world, If I'm just going lose my soul And my ways ain't purified, don't live according to Your Word I can't endure this life without Your wisdom being heard So word to every dance, a foe, a pop star 'Cause we all play the background, but mine's a rockstar Yeah, so if you need me I'll be stage right Praying the whole world will start embracing stage fright So let me fall back, stop giving my suggestions 'Cause when I follow my obsessions, I end up confessing That I'm not that impressive, matter of fact I'm who I are, a trail of stardust leading to the superstar"
Woke up really early this morning, thanks to dreams about saving my grandpa from spiders, and on a whim flipped it over to GMC. Heard Over and Over, and then Background. Over and Over is really, really repetitive, but I guess if it's repeating something good, I can't really slam it. And Lecrae is just awesome, what little of their stuff I've heard anyway :D. I don't feel like explaining this, other than to say that my life is all about me, me, me, and all the things I've accomplished and earned and gotten, and it's WRONG. And I'm tired of being the focus of my own life, because honestly I'm not that deserving, I'm just fortunate. Started this post this morning when I was in a good mood, and now I'm kind of tired and stressed and depressed, so I'm keeping it brief. Hope you like the song.
"Here I am, a rabbit hearted girl Frozen in the headlights It seems I've made the final sacrifice
We raise it up, this offering We raise it up
This is a gift, it comes with a price Who is the lamb and who is the knife? Midas is king and he holds me so tight And turns me to gold in the sunlight
I look around, but I can't find you (raise it up) If only I could see your face (raise it up) Instead of rushing towards the skyline (raise it up) I wish that I could just be brave
I must become a lion hearted girl Ready for a fight Before I make the final sacrifice"
I'm back from the beach, fyi ;)! This song just might be my summer song… I can't stop wanting to hear it. It's so beautiful, and the lyrics are great… and I know I must become a lion hearted girl :).
Plus, Florence and the Machine is generally awesome :D. Thoughts?
Just some songs that keep getting stuck in my head… hope you enjoy!
Death Cab for Cutie-You Are a Tourist:
That video was recorded and streamed online LIVE, in a single take! Is that amazing or what? Next song's just a fun love song-the opening lines are my favorite:
"Oh you in particular Read me like literature You know my thoughts, you know my heart You feel my downs when we're apart And girl you know my middle name You're old enough to not play games Cutest girl I've ever seen Like the cover of a magazine
But you keep me on my toes To guess your thoughts I won't fa sho But you keep me on my toes To guess your thoughts I'll never know"
Taylor Thrash-La La Love:
THIS song is actually pretty lyrically horrible (not that it wasn't well written, it's just about someone on a killing spree is all). And it's also ridiculously catchy, and sounds positive and is easy listening, even though the words AREN'T-which I think is quite a feat!
Foster the People-Pumped up Kicks:
And lastly, a song I've loved for a while (ever since Steph made me listen to MCR :D)… it's pretty epic, actually xD. If you only listen to one song, PICK THIS ONE... and in second place is You Are a Tourist :).
My Chemical Romance-The Only Hope for Me is You:
So, did you enjoy any of them? Are any of them stuck in your head? Cause I don't wanna suffer alone ;).
"I cannot help feeling like I have so much at stake So I lock myself inside my head and I just run in place So many directions I don't know which way to go I'm so busy doing nothing I got nothing to show
I got a new low, all 52 cards in a row I see now that I won't let go No I won't let go
Well who am I, a cold shoulder used to cry You feel bad, well so do I Yeah so do I
I've been right, I've been left I've been wrong, I've been left behind I've been up, but mostly down (x2)
I make mistakes just like everybody else But instead of letting go of it, I can't forgive myself I did my time in a windowless box Like it or not All I got now is today Tomorrow aint here Yesterday is gone dead on me anyway
I've been right, I've been left I've been wrong, I've been left behind I've been up, but mostly down (x4)"-New Low, Middle Class Rut
Why do I love this song… it's just perfect to me. It describes exactly where I am right now, surrounded and overwhelmed by a million things I have to do and constantly feeling like I've accomplished nothing. Constantly being other people's shoulder to cry on, when all I want to do is cry myself, but I can't because I have to be strong for others. I've had rough times, and amazing times, but mostly rough. My mistakes keep me awake for days in a row, I'm such an obsessed perfectionist. And yet, all I have, right now, is today. Yesterday is gone, and tomorrow isn't here yet, so I just need to focus and take each day as it comes. I'm determined to change my own life, to make it what I want it to be, to cause the amazing times to overtake the rough ones. I'm going to focus on what makes my life sweet and do everything I can to make that list longer! Anyway, this is one of those songs that you sometimes just need to hear-when you're feeling like bad has gone to worse, and just need a chill song that seems to understand.
Hope you guys enjoyed it-regardless of whether or not you can relate, I really think it's a great song, and like the style of the sound :). And am I the only one that feels like I haven't done a music post in ages?
Lately, I've been really physically sick, and I know I'm not the only one. As a result, I've been getting sickness related songs stuck in my head, including Candle by White Tie Affair and I'm So Sick by Flyleaf. So this post is for all of you who could really use some healing right about now-I feel your pain...
"I took a ride on a February morning, Just getting over it and dealing with the mourning, I started thinking out loud: I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired, My baby's flying off the edge of the road, She's saying, "I'm so sorry about that note", That left me all alone, But I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired
Somebody turn the lights on, Somebody tell me what's wrong, I'd be lying if I told you, Losing you was something I could handle, Somebody turn the lights on, Somebody tell me how long, All this darkness will surround you, Cuz I'm burning for you, Burning like a candle"
There are many different interpretations for this song, some involving coming to God after a friend/love commits suicide, and some as generic as loving someone who doesn't love you. One of the best things about music is how open to interpretation it is, how everyone can add their unique story to the same song. I, personally, tend to lean toward a suicidal theme-I think she's planning on committing suicide (or is battling severe depression), and he finds the note, and he's begging her to help him understand. It's a sad song to me, but the candle analogy and his willingness to wait on her to come around lend it a hopeful element. At least, that's what I think about it-what about you?
"I will break into your thoughts With what's written on my heart I will break, break
I'm so sick, Infected with where I live Let me live without this Empty bliss, Selfishness I'm so sick I'm so sick"
To me, this song is about being sick of the way that you, and the people around you, are living...sick of selfishness and superficiality. Standing up and telling those who refuse to listen to shut up and hear 'my screaming in your itching ears'. And I'm most definitely sick of the mindsets of so many around me, of the selfishness and the hypocrisy. This song is empowering-it slams what's wrong in your face so that you have to deal with it. I love the music, and Lacey's voice, and the lyrics (though Breathe Today is probably my favorite song from their self titled album). The video is below, but for those of you who don't like Flyleaf or Lacey's screaming, at least check out the lyrics here.
Unfortunately, in the music industry today you don't have to have talent in order to sound great in a studio recording-technology fills in the gaps. Which is why I normally hate albums that are live recordings of concerts, because they show how far the artist really falls short of their manipulated and enhanced and auto-tuned studio work. Even fairly talented bands can sound mediocre live, if the singer and/or other band mates don't have the best endurance, playing song after song. I'm not a fan of 'live' versions as a rule-but there are some bands that are too amazing to disappoint. The first concert I saw televised was Queen performing at Wembley in 1986. Obviously it wasn't brand new by the time I saw it, considering this was six years before I was born, but it was new to me when I finally did, and as a Queen fan I was completely blown away… I was absolutely glued to the TV. Freddie Mercury had the gift of moving a crowd with his charismatic personality, and in Queen's performance of Under Pressure (one of my favorites by them, along with I Want to Break Free) really displayed how he could control the crowd-before the song begins… well, just watch it ;) :
If you can do an amazing job live, then you actually have talent-which Queen, and other classic bands from that time, really did. I saw Linkin Park's concert in Madison Square Garden on TV a little while ago, and they actually did a great job-it wasn't quite as good as on their albums, but pretty darn close, and far better than I expected (and I'm a fan, believe it or not, but like I said-I don't have faith in live performances). The only current band I've heard lately and found downright amazing in their live concert recordings/videos is the one and only MUSE (INSERT FANGIRL SCREAM!)! I actually favorited their videos on YouTube-I favorited LIVE videos! Seriously though, if you haven't heard much Muse, check out this playlist of 7 of my favorite live performances and see how you like it OR this list, which is longer, and has the album versions of many of their songs. And whether you've heard them or not, check out this awesome live vid FROM…. Wembley again! The build from softer to loud, the crazy vocals and insane guitar work, followed by a beautiful piano solo, and the overall energy, COMBINED with some of my favorite lyrics ever… I love Butterflies and Hurricanes, what can I say :).
And this one is Knights of Cydonia-one of my favorite live performances, with the vocals, energy… this crowd was seriously moving, and the 'no one's going to take me alive...' part is epic :D
They aren't afraid to improvise and mix things up, and sometimes veer away from the recorded version, but it still sounds absolutely amazing and of studio quality, because they're just. that. good. I really could sit here and embed every single live video I can find, but I won't-instead, if you're interested, you can find all of my personal favorites, live and not live, Muse and not Muse, in one place-on my YouTube Channel. Well, that's a couple of my favorite artists when it comes to live recordings-what are some of yours? Do you like live versions better, or do you avoid them? Let me know what you all think! And for those who commented on the Life is Sweet post-I have now replied in the comments section, so check it out :). A huge thanks to Angela for following-those of you who, unlike me, are capable of cooking, really should check out her blog, Recipes from my mom-it is a great cooking blog, and straightforward and easy to understand, so I have it marked as a favorite just in case I get brave someday soon and decide to try and cook something(I'm thinking about her Chicken Acapulco-it looks like something my mom would love). Thanks everyone for reading, and commenting, and being generally awesome people who I like to consider friends-you make blogging fun :D. Until next time,
Just a couple tracks that I needed to hear the other day, and wound up playing on the way home. Thoughtful, softer songs. I was mostly listening to Cage the Elephant, Coldplay, and Dashboard Confessional, plus random ones that I wanted to hear, BUT I'll limit myself to... 4 songs, and what they mean to me.
"In my life, I have seen, People walk into the sea, Just to find memories, Plagued by constant misery, Their eyes cast down, Fixed upon the ground, Their eyes cast down
I'll keep my eyes fixed on the sun"
To me, this song is about pulling through the toughest of times, and not living in the past, but looking toward a brighter future... even on a cloudy day, I'll keep my eyes fixed on the sun. The video tells its own special story, and is pretty powerful. If you don't have time to watch, at least listen-it's a great song.
"Just because I'm losing Doesn't mean I'm lost...
Just because I'm hurting Doesn't mean I'm hurt...
You might be a big fish In a little pond Doesn't mean you've won 'Cause along may come A bigger one
And you'll be lost"
Beautiful song, and well named. To me it is about being hurt, and feeling lost, and being looked down upon by someone who doesn't understand. It isn't angry, but quietly defiant in a patient way. It explains itself better than any words I could ever string together:
"Vindicated I am selfish I am wrong I am right I swear I'm right Swear I knew it all along And I am flawed But I am cleaning up so well I am seeing in me now The things you swore you saw yourself"
Vindicate: -to afford justification for; justify -to claim for oneself or another
Vindicated. Justified. Claimed. Being flawed, but loved anyway... a beautifully confusing way to be.
"Here in this crowd I'm feeling all alone Turn me around and point me back to home I'm getting lost more every day And I can't tear myself away...
Life on the moon couldn't be any stranger Life on the moon wouldn't feel this far away The life that I knew, it's through And I'm gonna need you more than ever I'm alone in this crowded room It's like life on the moon"
A feeling I've had in the past, and my fear for the near future...
And a bonus song, for those of you who, like me, could stare out the window for days...
And if you're still reading, and looking for something else to listen to, check out my new youtube channel. Because I just got an account it is kind of empty so far, but I'm gonna work on it :). Which songs listed above did you like?
In response to your wonderful comments...
Shaynie, thank you SO MUCH for your prayers(and the hug)! Things are still crazy, but I'm trying not to lose it. And yes, it was quite a scare... I still don't know what actually IS wrong, which is frustrating, but the doctor is experimenting with prescriptions to see what helps.
Amanda, you don't like reptiles? Haha, my mom LOVES alligators... once they're made into boots and purses, that is :D. Personally, I'm a lizard lover; partly because they make such wonderful models, and partly because I have two pet leopard geckos :). And since I haven't much more time here, I'm going to comment on your posts in my post... which is weird, but whatever. LOVED Julianne Hough's and Crystal Bowersox's dresses, and actually didn't like Natasha Bedingfield's... it just seemed a bit too much, with her hair and then the contrast between the top and the bottom of the dress. I thought Jewel's was very sweet and flattering (it wasn't amazing or particularly memorable, but it seems like many women do NOT know how to dress when pregnant, and I thought this look was just perfect). I also liked Janelle Monae and Nicki Minaj (she's crazy, but it was just so HER XD Not saying anyone SHOULD wear that, but she totally pulls it off IMO). Bieber looked like he was drowning in his suit. Anddd.... Miley looked decent. I'll stop now :). I can't wait to hear what's up with you!
Max-I'm an east coast girl, but I do hope to see the west coast soon, and I'll definitely keep In & Out in mind! A HEALTHY burger sounds like guilt free paradise... sigh. I'm glad the trip went well and you're all back safe and sound! I can definitely relate when it comes to missing photo ops... it used to drive me crazy, but this post helped me to not get too frustrated. I actually did manage to get one decent snow shot this past winter... found it:
I think it turned out pretty good, but no picture I could take would have shown what the snow looked like that morning... every snowflake sparkled like glitter, and it was almost hard to look at it was so blindingly beautiful.
Anyway, for anyone who actually read this monster of a post, thank you. For reading, and commenting, and sticking with me even when I'm just not able to be here... I love you guys :). Also, thanks to Ashley and Jan (of the amazing Creative Instigation-seriously people, check it out) for following! I hope you enjoy what you find here :). Until next time,
"You saw me before I saw you. A girl: Gemma, at the airport, on her way to a family vacation. You had that look in your eyes. A guy: Ty, rugged, tan, too old, oddly familiar, eyes blue as ice. Like you wanted me. She steps away. For just a second. He pays for her drink. And drugs it. Wanted me for a long time. He takes her, before she even knows what's happening. To sand and heat. To emptiness and isolation. To nowhere. And expects her to love him.
Written as a letter from a victim to her captor, this is Gemma's desperate story of survival. Ty has Stolen her body. Against every instinct screaming inside her, will he also steal Gemma's heart?" -taken from the jacket-Stolen, by Lucy Christopher
Gemma, Ty, and the beautiful land Ty takes Gemma to, are truly the three main characters. The descriptions of the desert bring it to life again and again, and Ty's relationship with the land is something truly beautiful. Gemma's first view of the desert transports you to that other world:
"I brought my hand up to shield my eyes and tried to stop squinting. I was blinded by all that whiteness. It was like I'd stepped out into an afterlife. Only there were no angels… I made a sort of choking noise. As far as I could see, there was nothing. There was only flat, continuous brown land leading out to the horizon. Sand and more sand, with tussocks of small scrubby bushes standing up like surprises and the occasional leafless tree. The land was dead and thirsty. I was in nowhere… Just emptiness. Just heat and horizon. I dug my fingernails into the palm of my hand, and waited for the pain that told me I wasn't in a nightmare. I knew as soon as I set off that it was hopeless. Where would I run to? Everywhere looked the same. I could see why you hadn't locked the doors, why you hadn't tied me up. There was nothing and no one out there. Only us."
The situation that Gemma finds herself in is horrible-kidnapped, taken from all she knows, by a man who seems too familiar, into a place with no hope of escape… Stolen. Her terror in scenes made me want to scream, and the humor in others made me laugh aloud. Yes, humor… this is not a horror story, it is almost a poetic character sketch, one which slowly shows you the complicated natures of the two hearts at play. But beyond learning of the hearts of the characters, it is fascinating to peer into their minds. A much more appropriate label for this book is psychological thriller-and that label tells me why I love Stolen so much.
Many people have used the term Stockholm syndrome in reference to this book, partly because of the captor-captive relationship and the use of the term within the book itself, but I don't believe it fits. Stockholm syndrome is defined as "an emotional attachment to a captor formed by a hostage as a result of continuous stress, dependence, and a need to cooperate for survival." Yes, Gemma begins to develop an emotional attachment to Ty, and yes she is dependent on him and needs to cooperate to survive in the desert-but a correlation in this case does not mean causality. Gemma beginning to fall for Ty, I believe, is not because he is her captor or a survival tactic-and she fights him repeatedly attempting to escape. Her beginning to fall for him is because of who he is, and I admit I came to love Ty's character much sooner than Gemma did.
Objectionable Content: One complaint I've heard in regard to this book is that it glorifies the nature of kidnapping-that young women will romanticize the horrible situation-that they will only see Ty as a hot Australian guy and hope they get kidnapped by one themselves. As a young woman, I can say that what makes this book work for me is that there is conflict, that things are not black and white at all. Yes, I grew to love Ty's character-but he still drugged a teenage girl in an airport, still took her against her will and refused to let her go. That is WRONG, no matter what his reasons. As long as the individual reading the book has the maturity to look beyond the surface, which I would find difficult NOT to do in a book that delves so deep beyond it, that should not be an issue. The only objectionable elements are some language (not very often, but it is the f-bomb-I hate the use of that word, but understood its use within context) and nudity (as in 'I'm walking in the desert about to die of heatstroke when I take my clothes off'-not in a sexual context). Gemma believes she is brought there for him to take advantage of, and expresses her fear of rape, but that subject is handled expertly-her fears are clear, but not described in graphic detail or dwelt upon. All in all, I thought that Stolen struck its balance extremely well, and the way that certain elements were handled was delicate and mature.
Bottom Line: Stolen is hauntingly beautiful, and one of the best books I've read in a very long time. I recommend it without hesitation to mature readers-if you love a quiet psychological thriller, it'll steal your heart. My rating:
5/5 Stolen Butterflies
I've decided to combine this review with music, because I was listening to a mix while reading and a couple songs played that couldn't have been more perfectly timed. Three which fit the story and characters all too well…
Always-This one reminds me of Gemma's feelings about Ty, and some of the lines seem more like his perspective… almost like the song is a conversation. From Stolen:
"I lashed out, catching your chin. I used all my strength to push you away. "I hate you!" I screamed. "I...hate you!" You moved your hand away immediately, as if I'd suddenly burned it. "Maybe that'll change," you said quietly. You took the lantern with you, leaving me huddled against a bookshelf in the dark."
Say You'll Haunt Me-I cannot hear this song without thinking of Ty. I've loved it for a while, but even more so now. Every word in every verse relates to him-the soft pulses in the dead of his beloved desert, the little souvenirs he once gave her… and of course he wants Gemma to stay with him forever. Completely and utterly perfect-the song which best embodies him.
Stockholm Syndrome-This song played as the book was coming to an end, and made me cry like an even bigger baby. If you've read it-you'd have cried too, right? Regardless of whether or not you've read it, this song is AMAZING (well, I think so ;) ).
Thanks for reading and listening-drop me a comment and let me know you think! Thanks a million,
Hey everyone! I'm sorry I didn't post this on Wednesday… I had classes and therapy, which was actually very eventful, and I'll share with you as soon as I can. I haven't been allowed online much at all in the past couple days-I've been hardcore purging clothes and random junk, and working on the essay for the Honors College App. for GU, and my mother has had the past several days off work and decided to make the most of them by us cleaning the entire house and getting all the laundry taken care of. I'm not complaining-I'm actually really glad we've gotten so much done, and I now have CLEAN SOCKS! I was kind of stealing my moms… lol :D. And after all that, I wrote up my music that moves me post, and the WHOLE THING GOT DELETED. So yeah, doubly late :-P. I probably wont be able to write a serious post for a bit, but in the meantime you can check out and (hopefully) enjoy the following (super short) playlist. Be forewarned: most of the songs have a similar vibe and style, but the theme is one that I've really been connecting to lately, and the songs are great regardless of whether or not you can relate (haha, that rhymed! Lol, soy una perdedora). Here's the list before I make an even bigger idiot out of myself-let me know what you think:
I'd like to say hello and welcome to PepEGra-thanks for following! Also, thank you all SO MUCH for the wonderful comments. I'm going to go ahead and reply to them all here :). Amanda-I've missed you too! I might be moving out sooner than I thought… I honestly have no clue what's going to happen next...the minute we have a plan in place, somebody changes SOMETHING and it all keeps changing. I'll let you know about the books asap :). I'm glad that protein is working for you! And no, I don't have facebook. My mom is very protective and the entire concept of social networking scares her, and the battle just isn't worth it right now. I do hope to get one in the near future, though :). Kendra-Thanks :D. YES, this is definitely an exciting and scary time! I'm really, really looking forward to it though :). Are you still planning on going to Wake? If so, be warned-the application is the most brutal one I've seen, lots of essay questions, so give yourself plenty of time on it. I'll let you know about the books as well! And no, I haven't read the Mortal Instruments Series, but I'll keep them in mind! Thanks for the recommendation, I'm always looking for something new to read too! :D Shaynie-Nope, I'm an East Coast girl :). That is cool that you live close to that college though! Maybe once I've settled in the state (assuming I go to GU), we could meet sometime! Though, I won't be bringing a car… lol, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it :). Lia-Thanks for the advice! She has visited a couple times, and keeps calling me and my mom both, which is making things easier. I think she's a bit lonely, to be honest, and I'm missing her as well, so we talk when we can and it helps us both out :). And you and I don't necessarily have to be rivals… -- ´¨) ¸.·´¸.·*´¨)*´¨) (¸.·´¸.·*´¨) * (¸.· Elizabeth *´¨) ¸.·´ ¸.·*´¨) * (¸.·´* … but ROLL TIDE ROLL!!!! :D
"Sing it out, Boy, you got to see what tomorrow brings. Sing it out, Girl, you got to be what tomorrow needs.
For every time that they want to count you out, Use your voice every single time you open up your mouth
Sing it for the boys, sing it for the girls every time that you lose it sing it for the world Sing it from the heart Sing it till you're nuts Sing it out for the ones that'll hate your guts" -Sing-My Chemical Romance
Who will I be? I don't really know. But I know I want to make an impact, to help people, to change the world. I know I want to be what tomorrow needs, and make a difference where it is needed. And I can't do that biting my tongue and playing along, going with the flow and ignoring all of the problems around me. I can't do that being just another face in the crowd, just another member of generation nothing. In order for change to occur, someone has to stand up and demand it! I need to raise my voice every single time they try and shut my mouth, and that is exactly what I'm going to do. I… am going to SING. Not with my voice set to the music someone else has crafted, but with a sound all my own. My words will come from my heart, and I will dance to the music I find there. I will not back down, and I will raise my voice. I encourage you to do the same. Anyway, here is the song... it is empowering and beautiful, though the video has a typo-it is 'sing it out', not 'sing it up'.
"Cause holy cow, I love your eyes And only now I see you like Yeah, lying with me half-awake Stumbling over what to say Well, anyway, it's looking like a beautiful day" One Day Like This - Elbow
I hadn't heard this song before Leanna's post on Elbow, so thanks to you for sharing, Leanna :). I'm posting it today because yesterday... it was a beautiful day ^_^. Thanks to you, Henry, for making it so wonderful.
Let me know what you guys think! Also, I'd like to thank 'Piper Heartlock' :D, jackie housel, and GiGi for following-logging in and seeing that you found my blog worth reading was a wonderful surprise :). Sorry for not posting everyone... so much has happened lately, and I'm still figuring out what to share and how to share it. I might not post again until after the new year has begun, so I'm gonna go ahead and say HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! I hope that your celebrations are lots of fun, and that you all stay safe from the crazies on the roads :D. Until next time,
Hello everyone! I'll post more about what happened later, but the bottom line is my wisdom teeth removal did not go well. I'm really swollen, and dizzy from the medicine, and was talking to my wonderful friend Henry about my music that moves me post-I had a great song picked out, but was struggling with writing anything decent because I'm so messed up right now(I'll post on that song another time). Then, I asked if he'd like to guest post! He has great taste in music, and is a great writer, and I'm honored that he is willing to do this for me! Thanks Henry-you're a life saver :). Without further ado, his post:
"You say you feel so down Every time I turn around And you say you should've been gone by now And you, you think that everything's wrong You ask me how to carry on We'll make it through another day just hold on.
Cause life starts now. You've done all the things that could kill you somehow And you're so far down But you will survive it somehow because life starts now" Life Starts Now-Three Days Grace
I like this song because the singer encourages us that we will survive "it" somehow. When we're feeling down, sometimes it's so hard to see the bigger picture. Life doesn't end when we fail to do the thing we attempt; life starts NOW, when we make these decisions that will alter our attitudes and worldview. You can choose to remain down, and fix nothing, or you can get help from a friend, or parent or adult who has struggled with the same things you are going through (btw, if you don't feel like you have someone to talk to about your problems, I would urge you to talk to Elizabeth. She is a great encourager and sympathizer, and she will listen to you =) I'll let her give you her contact info). I guess one thing I'm trying to say is that you need someone to help you gain perspective over the situation. That's what the singer does for his friend in this song:
"All this pain, Take this life and make it yours! All this hate! Take your heart and let it love again, You will survive this somehow!!!"
When we lose perspective of what life means and what our purpose is, it's easy to feel like it's all over if we mess up. It is so important that you have a friend who can keep you focused, a friend who you can confide in with your decisions.
I hope the song helps you to keep perspective about life =) And I hope you enjoy! Take care,
-Henry
Thank you so much for this, Henry... great post :). And because I know how hard it can be sometimes to stay in perspective, and I know the value of encouragement and support and simply having someone to listen, I have no problem with talking any of you who need to let it out. My new email address is acollectionofreflections(at)gmail(dot)com, and don't hesitate to send me an email. I hope that you enjoyed this post, and the wonderful song! Also, thanks to Aaron/Nihil for following! Welcome to my bit of the blogosphere :). Thanks for reading everyone,
"I've seen enough now To know that beautiful things Don't always stay that way I've done enough now To know this beautiful place Isn't everything they say
I heard that evil comes disguised Like a city of angels I'm walking towards the light
Baptized in the river I've seen a vision of my life And I wanna be delivered In the city was a sinner I've done a lot of things wrong But I swear I'm a believer Like the prodigal son I was out on my own Now I'm trying to find my way back home Baptized in the river I'm delivered I'm delivered" Good Charlotte (ft. Avenged Sevenfold)
(The song ends at 3:15, after that there is a series of pictures of this person's dog, which passed away. Random, I know, but I can't blame them for doing a tribute. If you're listening, you can comment with your favorite dog breed ;)
Evil DOES come disguised, as something beautiful or fun or exciting and new. We slip into sin so easily, because to human eyes the lines of right and wrong can get blurry. And I think that it can be so easy to judge eachother based on those bad decisions we make-I know I don't care to hear about certain people's personal lives, because they are filled with sleeping around and getting drunk and high-because I HATE the choices they are making. But the bottom line is, we are ALL sinners, and we are ALL God's children. So hate the sin, by all means, but don't hate the sinner. I know it sounds cliched, but I see it all the time from self-proclaiming Christian youth-that condescending attitude toward the lost. Though I have never made those choices, I have lost touch of God before, and it isn't easy. I am a Christian, but don't advertise because I'm not a good one. My faith is weak-but I'm working on it. What I'm asking from those of you who do advertise is to show a little love to those who are lost. Don't make church and Christianity itself seem exclusive, because God isn't, and we all need His love.
"Like the prodigal son I was out on my own Now I'm trying to find my way back home Baptized in the river I'm delivered"
Anyway, sorry for the mini-lecture... don't know where that came from. Let me know what you think of the song :). If you like it at all, check out Misery (another GC fave of mine). If you check out Misery, let me know what you think of it as well! Also, a huge HELLO! to Raja-Man (who is my 25th follower! I was secretly hoping I'd hit 25 by Christmas, so yay for that!). Thanks for following, Raja-Man, I hope that you enjoy what you read here :).
This song, simply put, rocks. I've heard it on the radio a lot recently, love it every time, and the day after Thanksgiving had way too much fun dancing to it at a redlight (see details in next post... lol).
What do you guys think? Have you heard it before? Love it, hate it?
P.S. Sorry this is so short, the post was deleted, then I retyped the whole thing, then it got deleted again, then got deleted halfway through me retyping it... so I decided to keep it brief before I broke something.
Hello Everyone! First off, huge thanks to those who commented with their favorite love songs-I really appreciated it! Unfortunately, I was not able to find them all on playlist.com (the site didn't have a SINGLE Switchfoot song, and not much Underoath! How wrong is THAT?!?!), but I did find some by the same artists to add to the playlist and also some youtube videos to go with the post! Without further ado-your favorites :).
Enough to Let Go-Switchfoot:
You Had Me At Hello-A Day To Remember:
Speak To Me Gently-Future of Forestry:
And lastly, the playlist itself!!!
I think I'll let the playlist be one that keeps on growing, so if one day driving down the road you hear a love song that takes your breath away-you can still comment on the original post and I'll add it if I can :).
P.S. Thanks Tunafish(Jesus love you too! :D) and Toyin O. for stopping by!
-- "But you see, it's not me, it's not my family. In your head, in your head they are fighting, With their tanks and their bombs, And their bombs and their guns. In your head, in your head, they are crying..."
"Keep on running, Never get to feel the moment, It's like you're sleeping, Cause you don't take the time to take it in line, Like a train wreck, You're on a mission, Tunnel vision got you blinded, Better slow down, Before you lose ground, It'll happen anyway... When you close your eyes to see the view, You miss everything surrounding you, Stop and just look around, get up and look around, get up and look around, get up and look around" Look Around-David Archuleta
For everyone who, like me, sometimes gets so caught up in the future that they forget to live in the present:
Also, I have a question: Which album cover do you like more:
For those of you who aren't familiar with David Archuleta, he is a very happy smiley sweet kind of person. Until I saw the cover of his first album, I didn't know just how UNHAPPY he could look. I personally hated that album cover, just because it wasn't HIM. So I'm voting for the second one (though I'm not completely in love with his shoes or the position); just look at his smile! :D
Comment and let me know what you think! Thanks for reading,
-- "But you see, it's not me, it's not my family. In your head, in your head they are fighting, With their tanks and their bombs, And their bombs and their guns. In your head, in your head, they are crying..."
"We've got the fire, who's got the matches? Take a look around at the sea of masks Come one, come all, welcome to the grand ball Where the strong run for cover and the weak stand tall
I'm not one to scatter ashes But there's some things that melt the plastic Try and dig down deeper if you can
I'm not afraid, I'm not ashamed I'm not to blame, welcome to the masquerade I'm not ashamed, I'm not afraid I'm not okay, welcome to the masquerade Welcome to the masquerade" Welcome to the Masquerade-Thousand Foot Krutch
I absolutely love this song. For all the people who feel surrounded by masks, and those who know they're wearing one. I used to pretend to be okay when I wasn't, full on fake happy, and now I'm not hiding anything. I'm not spilling my life's story to everyone who asks how I am, but I can still be honest about how I feel :). And the fact that I've chosen to be free from that act actually makes me free to feel happy for real sometimes :D. I love "the strong run for cover and the weak stand tall", because it is so true to my life. This whole song rings true. I hope you enjoy it, and let me know what you think either way!
Thanks for reading people, and sorry for my horribly inconsisent posting. Life comes at you fast...
-- "But you see, it's not me, it's not my family. In your head, in your head they are fighting, With their tanks and their bombs, And their bombs and their guns. In your head, in your head, they are crying..."
This blog is where I'll post my thoughts on whatever comes to mind, share pictures, and review books, movies, and music. This space is an extension of myself-so it might have focus issues every now and then, but it will always be real and honest. Honesty is probably the single most important thing to me, so don't worry about this collection of my personal reflections being full o' bull :). Anyone who actually reads it: thanks for stopping by, and I hope that this space brings you some insight or joy or at the very least, entertainment :).
I am a student, a thinker, a reader, a writer... I'm pretty open-minded, and my least favorite characteristics in a person are close-mindedness and the inability to listen (especially when that person is me!) I'm currently exploring academically and trying to learn more about the beautiful world in which we live... life's a journey, right?
