A Scavenger Hunt, a Dance, Finals, My Birthday, Old Salem, A Museum, Final Grades, and Upcoming Christmas.... The Readers Digest Version!

Hey everyone! Since my last update, I've attended a winter formal (dance), taken my finals, been sent back home for Christmas break, celebrated my 19th birthday, gone to Old Salem, gone to Reynolda House Museum, and gotten my final grades for the semester.

The formal was a lot of fun, as was the manner in which Jonathon asked me to it! I basically was sent on a cross campus scavenger hunt down memory lane, and it was pretty amazing :). Each clue was attached to a memory that he and I shared, and it was so wonderful reliving all of those good times at once! I also had to climb a tree for the first time in years, which was fun! We had a great time at the dance--even though Jonathon and I were dates, we still went with our group of friends, and we all had dinner together before we attended the formal. I wore my prom dress (some of you may remember it--very colorful), as did some of my friends, and one friend's sister curled my hair. Here's a pic of Jonathon and I from before the dance:


And here's a few candids:





In the weeks following formal, I had to prepare for and take my final exams. I actually did really well on my finals (95 in one, which required two essays to be written by hand in 2.5 hours… the scariest thing in the world for me xD), but even a 95 couldn't make up for the fact that I didn't finish half of my work on time… but more on that later.
Right now, I'm writing from NC, back at my parents house. I got a ride from another NC student at my college, who we met at a Charlotte summer send off party. Coming home from break filled me with apprehension, and I'm still a bit stressed to be here. Generally speaking, I'm looking forward to going HOME home--back to my residence hall. I am, however, enjoying some of my time here quite a bit, thanks to my sister. First off, we celebrated my birthday at Concord Mills (a mall, for those who aren't NC residents), and my brother and sis in law wound up meeting us there after a while. My facebook status from that night sums up what we did pretty well:



So that was my December 18th :). The 19th was a long day at the house (where I seem to be automatically discontented… need to work on that), but on the 20th Sarah and I went to Old Salem, and that night she let me sleep over at my brother's house (where she lives). When we got up on the 21st, Sarah asked if I wanted to hit an art museum, and naturally I said heck yes! :D. We went to the Reynolda House Museum of American Art, which had an exhibit on loan from the Smithsonian called Modern Masters. One of the pieces I liked:



Back to my grades--they suck this semester. I got one F (for an online course I repeatedly forgot about until I just gave up on catching up), one NC (for an ENGLISH course, which are typically my easiest courses… because I didn't turn in drafts for the second to last project, or the project itself, which were huge parts of the final grade. Everything I turned in I got great scores on), two D's (for my biology lab and for my liberal arts course, which I love), and one B (biology). Why are my grades so bad? Because I didn't complete half of the homework… I don't know how to explain, and don't want to make excuses, but I need to seriously reorganize my mind and stop with the perfectionism crap. I know I've posted it before, that I've got perfectionism issues, but they've never had these kinds of consequences before. I've always been able to keep myself under control and force myself to get crap done, and have always had straight As as a result… so this is kind of hard to digest. But next semester I'm determined to do better--largely because I know, if I don't, I could lose my scholarship and be stuck back in this house for much longer :/.


So, what's next? CHRISTMAS!! :D :D :D. I've done the majority of my shopping online, and am worried that gifts won't arrive before I head back to college (when I'm planning on giving my friends their gifts), but a few things have arrived and been wrapped :). I've already received two very thoughtful gifts from friends, and it's making me even more excited to GIVE gifts! I want to make people as happy as those made me :). My sister and brother and his wife will be coming over Christmas eve to celebrate, and I'm really looking forward to it. Well, I think I'm finally caught up… my goal was to be posting about Christmas BY Christmas, and there you have it. I hope that your holidays all go fantastically, and that you're able to spend time with those you love. That's what really matters in the end, anyway… the people you love, the relationships you have with them, and what you really mean to eachother. I've been so blessed to make such wonderful friends at school, and am looking forward to spending time with my 'family' again. I've also been blessed to have the siblings I do, and in a certain way I'm blessed to have my parents as well. They have, after all, helped shape me into who I am, made me stronger… and for that I'm grateful. There's a lot for me to be grateful for this holiday season, and I betcha there's a lot for you to be grateful for too--if you only take the time to think about it. Merry Christmas everyone, and God bless,

Giving Thanks

I started making a vlog for this post, but got interrupted three minutes in, and didn't really have the time/opportunity to start over. So here I go, typing it out--maybe I'll vlog again once I'm back in NC.

For thanksgiving, I rode with a complete and total stranger for 6 hours to SC, where we met up with my parents, with whom I headed down to GA where my grandparents live. I've decided not to post too much about my thanksgiving, which was relatively uneventful, and instead post about what over the course of that trip I was reminded to give thanks for--same difference ;).

• My friends--it was so hard saying goodbye before break, because my college friends are like my new family, and one was kind enough to walk with me to meet the guy I was riding with and make sure I'd be okay.

• My safety--riding with a guy I didn't know was stupid, and I was fortunate he was a decent human being.

• My sister's strength--she recently went through a tough breakup, but even though he was trying to hurt her via facebook and texts the whole trip she stayed strong through it all.

• My mom's love--she was so glad to see me after these months, and I felt very loved… my cousins failed to come over because they don't like being around people, even family, and don't talk… and I'm very lucky that I was raised by the woman I was.

• My papa's health--For many years now, there have been many scares regarding his health, but right now he's doing well, for which I am very grateful.

• ...and lastly, my freedom. From my parents constant bickering, from my mother telling me I'm hateful and evil just because I don't give her 100% of my attention 24/7… for my independence, for my new life, and for my ability to appreciate my old one nonetheless. For the strength it all has given me.

Anyway, I'm very grateful for my life, for my past, and my present, and my future. Right now, I'm half asleep, and am being spoken to, so I think I'm going to go now… love you guys,

The Big 100! (Giveaway)

Hey everyone! Today is the day of my 100th post, and as I look back on my blogging experience I have a lot to be grateful for. I've gotten to know some pretty amazing people through blogger, and come to think of many of you as friends :). I've prayed more since I began blogging, and cried for the sorrow of others, and felt more connected to other people and God Himself just by reading YOUR words. I'm one of the worst and most unreliable bloggers I know, but I do enjoy myself, and am planning on doing so for another hundred posts! And to show my gratitude to you, my forty-one forty THREE? (Thanks so much Jordan and Allie!) FORTY FOUR (Thanks Olivia too!! Wow :) Haha, I started writing this a bit ago and keep having to edit!) fabulous followers, I've decided to host a giveaway :). What am I giving away? Any pair of earrings from my Etsy OR $5 off + free shipping on a set(and my shop is about to begin rapidly growing, so check back often for new items!). Want to see some of the items you could win?

















How do you enter? The rules are simple!

1. You do NOT have to be a follower, all you have to do is visit my Etsy and comment on this post telling me what your favorite item is (required initial entry). Because my inventory should continue to expand, you are not 'stuck' with this item if you win-you can check out my Etsy again and see what your favorite is when the giveaway closes.
2. Following(and commenting letting me know you follow) gives you 3 extra entries (cause I love you that much!).
3. Posting about my giveaway, with a link to my Etsy, gets you two more extra entries-just comment with a link to your post so I can check it out!

So, if you comment telling me your favorite piece (required), follow my blog, and post about the giveaway, you would have a total of 6 entries! This giveaway ends Wednesday, May 25th, at 11:59pm. I'll announce the winner, as determined by random.org, within one week of the 25th(I can't say a specific day, because I'm going to be at the beach and then my grandparents, so I'll make sure I let you guys know whenever I have internet!), and the winner will have 3 days to comment/email me and tell me what item you'd like! My shop is located >>HERE<< I hope you guys like what you see! And sorry it took me so long to get this up-I was studying like a crazy person over my world history final all week, and took it yesterday morning… I actually think I aced it :D! I meant to post this last night, but passed out in the early evening and didn't wake up till this morning xD. Anyway, love you all, and thanks for making blogging fun!

Thanks and Sorry :)

Hey everyone! I deleted a non-post post so that this wouldn't be the 100th (I already have that one planned ;) ), BECAUSE I wanted to A) thank some awesome people and B) apologize for the upcoming week. First off, thank you Jo Bekah for your kind comment on Formspring, and Allie and Jo Bekah both for following (a compliment in itself!). I hope you enjoy what you find here :). I'd also like to thank Raja-man, Max(x5), Antonia, Hunger Games Lover, and Shaynie for your comments on my last post! I really appreciate it! Also, just a bit of good news, I sold my first item from Etsy, though not through Etsy (basically, someone I know in person saw the item on Etsy, then asked to see it in person(it was prettier than the picture! haha, told ya!), then wanted to pay with cash-works for me!). That is why the listing for these earrings is now gone:



-which leaves me with 6 items listed. Now, here's why I'm apologizing-next week is my world history final, in class, and it's covering a LOT of material, so studying will be a priority this coming week. Also, I've been making more jewelry for my shop (7 pairs of earrings, 3 necklaces, and 5 bracelets so far... yes, I've been a busy bee!), but as of tonight both my camera and my mom's camera decided to die, so I can't get any pictures tonight and can't go ahead and get the items listed, which I'd planned to do. My dad also said that if I picked up all the sticks and rocks in the yard, and mowed, he'd pay me some for it, but I have to do that tomorrow (or the offer expires), and I'm not letting that offer slide by. Getting my Etsy updated and taking care of world history are my main goals this week, beyond taking care of the yard, but I DO hope to post the big 100 by Sunday or Monday-so be watching for it! :D. Just wanted to let you all know what was up! Hope to post again soon,

YAYAYAYAYAY!!!!! (INTERVIEW)

MY INTERVIEW WENT GREAT, AND I'M IN THE _____ PROGRAM (FOR MY COLLEGE OF CHOICE)!!!!! YES!!!! Haha, sorry everyone, but I'm FREAKIN' HAPPY! :D :D :D. I just got off the phone with the head of the ____ program, and after talking for about 20 minutes he said 'welcome to the ___ family, you'll get an official acceptance letter in the mail sometime in the upcoming week'!!! He said I looked great on paper, and had a really strong application, and that talking with me in person only confirmed what my application led them to believe, that I'm just the kind of student they want! And he found my essay on the growth of organs fascinating! THANK YOU LORD! I almost broke my ankle jumping up and down!!! LOL :D. Okay, getting off before I make an even bigger idiot of myself xD. YES!

Adventures in Therapy + Cookies For You!

(If you've commented on a post, I've responded now, just so you know)

So, first off with this therapy review, let me explain WHY I was going there. I've struggled with depression and anxiety for years, and am a miserable old hag ( ;) ), and can't seem to get happy. It comes from my negative living situation… which is kind of hard to explain briefly, but the bottom line is my father has hurt my mother, my siblings, and myself, and is psychologically unstable and emotionally abusive, but my parents are still married and I still live with them out of financial necessity.
I've suffered with guilt because of the sacrifices my mother has made in order to ensure I received a quality high school education and had a roof to live under. I developed self worth issues because I was always trying to earn my father's love, when no matter how hard I worked to be perfect I just couldn't be good enough for him. I have anxiety issues because of my financial situation-despite his substantial income, my father isn't paying for college, or my car insurance, or gas, and my job is minimum wage and hours vary. After this upcoming payment, I'm worried about whether or not I'll be able to cover the next one. I'm a fairly self-aware person, I know what my strengths and weaknesses are, and generally what they stem from. I went into that building unsure of what to expect from whoever I was talking to, but knowing there probably wouldn’t be any 'ah-ha!' moments for me.
When I met the woman, who was very kind and I will call Dr. H, she led me to her office, and when she opened the door I was trying really hard not to crack up. There was a COUCH! I mean, yes, it makes perfect sense she would want people to be comfortable, and I should have expected it, but I still wanted to laugh and say 'so that isn't just a stereotype, huh?' :D lol.
We talked for a bit, then we agreed to have momma join me, and together momma and I told her pretty much everything. Explained how my father has always treated me, how he doesn't love his own children and SCREAMS at me like a madman about the stupidest things. About how he ran off my older brother because he felt threatened by him, and how similar my brother and I are. About how he waits on my mother hand and foot, is always bringing her food, and is obsessive over her but treats me with hatred. We talked about the way that I've always demanded perfection from myself academically, because from an early age I knew that it was my only chance for a future. And she kind of suggested that it came from my father's unpredictability-I'm not in control of my home life at all, but I keep tight control of what I can. Which led to the fact that I keep really right control of my emotions, that I don't let myself feel much anymore… and after we had talked for a very long time, and had mentioned how great my brother is, and the fact that he built his house with two extra bedrooms just so that my mother, sister, and I would be able to move in if things got really, really ugly… she strongly recommended that I move in with my brother, because I'm obviously not handling my current situation well. My mom and I have talked about it since then, and I don't think I'm moving out yet… we'll see if we can just hang on till graduation. I also may or may not have gotten a new job at a dentist's office-which would be awesome! I'll be there Monday to get my wisdom teeth out, and hope to talk to our dentist more then (before I'm all loopy, obviously ;) ). Therapy actually went really, really well. Dr. H seemed genuinely concerned for my well-being, and kind of worried, but was really helpful with making thoughts organized for me and my mom. We're in sync now, which is really important with all of the changes coming up. After the fact, I've decided it was a great thing to do, even though I did spend a lot of the time having to relive painful memories :D lol. I'd also like to thank you Laurea, Jinnyd, Lia, and Shaynie for your input on this issue-I appreciate your support more than you can know :). And now, COOKIE TIME!!!! For you, Shaynie:

And for you, Jinnyd (check the link at the bottom for the recipe, if you're not a hazard in the kitchen like me! :D):

And for all of my other wonderful followers, enjoy the classic chocolate chip:

I wrote this post the other day (so I could let it sit overnight, and then I edited out a lot of personal backstory crap that was just plain depressing... LOL, that pun really wasn't intended), and at the moment I'm freakishly HAPPY (which is AWESOME) for a variety of reasons which I'd like to share (including you guys), and I've actually been tagged several times, and I heard an AMAZING song on the radio today that I simply have to post about (not sure yet if I'll let it wait till Wednesday) so I'm going to be posting a bit more than normal over the next few days (even though I really should be on a blogging haitus-WORLD HISTORY FINAL AND TONS OF HOMEWORK!!!! AHHH!). Wow, that was a lot of parentheticals... anyway, you can expect to hear from me again soon! Thanks you guys, for everything ^_^.

Snowman cookie pic from here.
Blondie pic from here.
Chocolate chip cookie pic is NOT mine, but I'm not posting the link to the site because it had a lot of other crap on it that had nothing to do with dessert.

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Giving Thanks+Fun at a Red Light!

Thanksgiving, such a glorious holiday where we all stuff our faces and remain full for days... at least, everyone I've talked to about their Thanksgiving said with a smile and a distant expression 'I ate too much...' :D. Mine was bittersweet. Started off rough, family arguing...my dad was trying to get my mom to go to a movie that afternoon, and she didn't want to go without me, and he was freaking out because he wasn't getting his way. Then I got to go to Henry's house to celebrate with his family and have lunch, which was absolutely wonderful! His family was fun to be around, and it was (kinda) his dad's birthday, and his dad's sister (so Henry's aunt) made an absolutely amazing cake that looked like a cooked turkey! The food was great, and MG, Henry's sister, showed me how to make a cootie-catcher with post-its(I hadn't made one in years, and had forgotten how).

I showed her how to make an origami frog, and then we made a bunch, and I accidentally made one jump into Henry's cup of coffee XD. Then she got a sheet of green paper and made a HUGE one, but it couldn't jump worth a fart :). My neck was still hurting a little, but it wasn't cry-my-eyes-out pain, it was more dang-I-shouldn't-keep-turning-my-head pain. It would have been nice to talk more, but I had a lot of fun and am so grateful that he was willing to share his family and that day with me :). I wish I hadn't had to leave...but eventually I did, and when at home watched a movie with my parents (The Expendables, actually... LOL) then carried on with my day as if it wasn't a holiday. I loved seeing everyone's 'Happy Thanksgiving' posts, and this was part of one of my favorites:
"Before you pass out from the spread of food upon the dining room table...
Before you enter the rush of the Christmas season, awaking at 3am to grab the "hottest" deals of the season...
Before it becomes politically correct to refer to it merely as Turkey Day...
Can we stop?
Thanksgiving. Merriam Webster defines this as the act of giving thanks; a prayer expressing gratitude; and a public acknowledgement or celebration of divine goodness.
That cuts me to my core, what about you? I don't know if I've ever stopped to read the definition before, but that's loaded with a basis in God and in His providence." (from Lane Lareau, see here)
I've never actually seen the definition of Thanksgiving before. And really, that is what the day is about, right? So my family didn't have a meal together, no one cooked anything, the house was a wreck and we watched a violent movie. That isn't reason for me to be disappointed-if anything, I should be laughing! Actually, I'm laughing right now! But the bottom line is, I have so MUCH to be grateful for.

Right now, I am thanking you God, and I hope you can hear me. For my confidant and faithful friend, Henry. For momma. For A being such a great friend even though I'm horrible at replying to emails! For my wonderful brother and for Mrs. A. both supporting me despite my failings. For my other couple friends who still love me even though I'm the most horrible friend in the world. For my job, even though things aren't going that great lately. For letting me be a Semifinalist! For my SAT scores rising. For those people I've never let myself invest in, but who seem more than ready to be there for me anyway. For my family's health and the roof over our heads. I am so very fortunate... and I know that I don't thank you enough. So, from here on out, I'm going to try my hardest to remember the good things and stay positive. In the past couple weeks, my depression has really taken a toll on me, and I'm simply not feeling good right now. I actually didn't go to school today, for the first time in my life, because I just didn't think I could take it. But I am alive. And I will get through this ginormous pile of crap that is my life. And then I'll take a long, hot, shower and get all clean and comfy, and smile and thank you yet again for helping me through it all. Thanks again,
Your Lost Child, Elizabeth

OKAY, well now that I've gotten that out, FUNNY STORY TIME! The other day I was on my way home from work, and was at a red light, and a song I love came on the radio(mentioned here), and I started bouncing around the car like a crazy person. I turned it up so loud the car was shaking, and I was really really cold, which meant I was moving more than normal because I WAS COLD, even though I was wearing a scarf and my leather jacket! After I'd danced and beat up my steering wheel for a while, I remembered that I was wearing a santa hat.

Why? Because for the entire month of December, it is part of my uniform, and I am not allowed to work without it. So eventually the light turned green, and I was driving along, and the person on the other side of the intersection wasn't going even though the light was green, and I wondered why until I passed them and saw the head of the driver turn around to look at the twiggy chick in a leather jacket blasting Rise Against on the day after Thanksgiving... in a santa hat. Apparently, they didn't notice the light had changed.... LOL :D.

Anyway, sorry for the random and disconnected post... lol. Also, I'd like to thank you my followers for reading, including my newest follower Sarah! You guys rock!

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Frog Image from here.

Santa Hat Image from here.