Music That Moves Me: Waiting For the End

"Waiting for the end to come
Wishing I had strength to stand
This is not what I had planned
It's out of my control...."

As most of you know, my time at home wasn't the easiest or the most pleasant. The end of the summer was fun, but only because I was practically living outside of the house, be it on the road or at the USNWC or at my sister's place. But overall, my depression had me in a tight grasp, and I was struggling with my concerns regarding college as well. I was waiting, just waiting, for my time there to come to an end, and praying with all my might that I could stay strong and not break under the pressure until then. "All I wanna do is trade this life for something new, holding on to what I haven't got." There was a time when I was simply clinging to an idea, the vague and alien idea of freedom, and desperately so. Parts of this song perfectly describe my past, the feelings I had of exhaustion and weakness, that feeling of waiting… and then the wait was over.

"So, picking up the pieces, now where to begin?
The hardest part of ending Is starting again"

and now I fear I'm starting to slip into a whole new world of waiting for the end...

"Sitting in an empty room,
Trying to forget the past,
This was never meant to last,
I wish it wasn't so..."

My fear? Losing this. This freedom, this happiness, this whole new world I've been blessed with. My new family, these people I love, this distance from everything I hated back home. I'm on scholarship. And I'm going to fail at least… 2 classes, maybe 3. Which means my GPA is hosed. In addition, in doing so terribly academically, I've risked losing my friends simply by disappointing them all… I fear some of them are growing tired of caring so much when I'm not making much progress fixing things. I'm still trying to figure it out, and I'm battling the pessimistic idea of waiting for the end to this happiness. I fear it isn't meant to last. But I'm determined to MAKE it last. Okay, so I've already ruined this semester. I've partly accepted that. But next semester I'm going to take control, because next semester it really counts. Anyway, I guess overall, I like this song because I most strongly associate it with my past, with waiting for THAT to come to an end, and with that ending and me having the chance to start over here. I could take up that attitude again, but I'm not planning on it--I fear it, but I will not choose it.



The other day at dinner this song played over the radio, and I said "I love this song." My friend Jonathon asked "what does it mean?," and that is what prompted this poorly written post. Just ramblings I guess. But anyway, Jonathon is one of my best friends here, and is new to blogger--if a couple of you could hop on over to Life of a Jonathon and see if you care to follow, I'd appreciate it, and I know he would as well. Love you guys, and talk to you more later,

Music that Moves Me: Odd One

"Odd one, you're never alone
I'm here and I will reflect you
Both of us basically unattached
To anything or anyone unless we're pretending
You live your life in your head
Some call it imagination
I'd rather focus instead on anything except
What I'm feeling
What I'm feeling
Odd one...

Hey, it's gonna be okay
Hey, we're gonna laugh at this one day

Odd one, I wish I was you
You're never concerned with acceptance
We are all desperately seeking out,
And fitting in with anyone
Who will accept us
But not you, odd one

Hey, it's gonna be okay
Hey, we're gonna laugh at this one day (x3)

Don't let someone tell you you're no-one"

I love this song, a song of empowerment for the outcast. It sounds a little melancholy at first, but the chorus is really strong and positive. It just has a great message, much like Maybe (also by the Sick Puppies, which is where the line 'maybe I'm a dreamer' in my signature comes from… I might post about that song soon). Anyway, this one's for all of you who are unique and proud, for all the outcasts and the 'odd ones'-aka, all the awesome people. Don't ever let anyone put you down, because you freakin' rock (unless you're a close minded judgmental hypocrite who doesn't show other views any respect. Then I probably wouldn't like you). Hope you all enjoy the song :).

Music that Moves Me: Background

"Lord you’ve been so good to me, and this is why I praise you, this is why I love you
You’ve been there through my tears and through my pain
Over and over again
(Chorus)
You bless me over and over again
Even when I’m not deserving"-Over and Over, Trin-i-tee 5:7

My cup floweth over as of late, and I've been so blessed, yet all I see is that my mom keeps nagging me over getting rid of things. I've screamed into my pillows to release the frustration, instead of reminding myself I need to purge because I'm GOING TO COLLEGE, something I never thought possible. God has blessed me with a scholarship, with a future, with an amazing few weeks of being a part of something I'd always wanted to, a film. He's blessed me with wonderful friends, including YOU, with my sister… with a lot of things. And I needed the reminder today.

"I don't need my name in lights, I don't need a starring role
Why gain the whole wide world, If I'm just going lose my soul
And my ways ain't purified, don't live according to Your Word
I can't endure this life without Your wisdom being heard
So word to every dance, a foe, a pop star
'Cause we all play the background, but mine's a rockstar
Yeah, so if you need me I'll be stage right
Praying the whole world will start embracing stage fright
So let me fall back, stop giving my suggestions
'Cause when I follow my obsessions, I end up confessing
That I'm not that impressive, matter of fact
I'm who I are, a trail of stardust leading to the superstar"

Woke up really early this morning, thanks to dreams about saving my grandpa from spiders, and on a whim flipped it over to GMC. Heard Over and Over, and then Background. Over and Over is really, really repetitive, but I guess if it's repeating something good, I can't really slam it. And Lecrae is just awesome, what little of their stuff I've heard anyway :D. I don't feel like explaining this, other than to say that my life is all about me, me, me, and all the things I've accomplished and earned and gotten, and it's WRONG. And I'm tired of being the focus of my own life, because honestly I'm not that deserving, I'm just fortunate. Started this post this morning when I was in a good mood, and now I'm kind of tired and stressed and depressed, so I'm keeping it brief. Hope you like the song.

I'm In La La Love (with 4 songs!)

Just some songs that keep getting stuck in my head… hope you enjoy!

Death Cab for Cutie-You Are a Tourist:



That video was recorded and streamed online LIVE, in a single take! Is that amazing or what? Next song's just a fun love song-the opening lines are my favorite:

"Oh you in particular
Read me like literature
You know my thoughts, you know my heart
You feel my downs when we're apart
And girl you know my middle name
You're old enough to not play games
Cutest girl I've ever seen
Like the cover of a magazine

But you keep me on my toes
To guess your thoughts I won't fa sho
But you keep me on my toes
To guess your thoughts I'll never know"

Taylor Thrash-La La Love:



THIS song is actually pretty lyrically horrible (not that it wasn't well written, it's just about someone on a killing spree is all). And it's also ridiculously catchy, and sounds positive and is easy listening, even though the words AREN'T-which I think is quite a feat!

Foster the People-Pumped up Kicks:



And lastly, a song I've loved for a while (ever since Steph made me listen to MCR :D)… it's pretty epic, actually xD. If you only listen to one song, PICK THIS ONE... and in second place is You Are a Tourist :).

My Chemical Romance-The Only Hope for Me is You:



So, did you enjoy any of them? Are any of them stuck in your head? Cause I don't wanna suffer alone ;).

Music that Moves Me: New Low

"I cannot help feeling like I have so much at stake
So I lock myself inside my head and I just run in place
So many directions I don't know which way to go
I'm so busy doing nothing I got nothing to show

I got a new low, all 52 cards in a row
I see now that I won't let go
No I won't let go

Well who am I, a cold shoulder used to cry
You feel bad, well so do I
Yeah so do I

I've been right, I've been left
I've been wrong, I've been left behind
I've been up, but mostly down (x2)

I make mistakes just like everybody else
But instead of letting go of it, I can't forgive myself
I did my time in a windowless box
Like it or not
All I got now is today
Tomorrow aint here
Yesterday is gone dead on me anyway

I've been right, I've been left
I've been wrong, I've been left behind
I've been up, but mostly down (x4)"-New Low, Middle Class Rut

Why do I love this song… it's just perfect to me. It describes exactly where I am right now, surrounded and overwhelmed by a million things I have to do and constantly feeling like I've accomplished nothing. Constantly being other people's shoulder to cry on, when all I want to do is cry myself, but I can't because I have to be strong for others. I've had rough times, and amazing times, but mostly rough. My mistakes keep me awake for days in a row, I'm such an obsessed perfectionist. And yet, all I have, right now, is today. Yesterday is gone, and tomorrow isn't here yet, so I just need to focus and take each day as it comes. I'm determined to change my own life, to make it what I want it to be, to cause the amazing times to overtake the rough ones. I'm going to focus on what makes my life sweet and do everything I can to make that list longer! Anyway, this is one of those songs that you sometimes just need to hear-when you're feeling like bad has gone to worse, and just need a chill song that seems to understand.

Hope you guys enjoyed it-regardless of whether or not you can relate, I really think it's a great song, and like the style of the sound :). And am I the only one that feels like I haven't done a music post in ages?

Music that Moves Me: I'm So Sick

Lately, I've been really physically sick, and I know I'm not the only one. As a result, I've been getting sickness related songs stuck in my head, including Candle by White Tie Affair and I'm So Sick by Flyleaf. So this post is for all of you who could really use some healing right about now-I feel your pain...

"I took a ride on a February morning,
Just getting over it and dealing with the mourning,
I started thinking out loud: I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired,
My baby's flying off the edge of the road,
She's saying, "I'm so sorry about that note",
That left me all alone,
But I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired

Somebody turn the lights on,
Somebody tell me what's wrong,
I'd be lying if I told you,
Losing you was something I could handle,
Somebody turn the lights on,
Somebody tell me how long,
All this darkness will surround you,
Cuz I'm burning for you,
Burning like a candle"

There are many different interpretations for this song, some involving coming to God after a friend/love commits suicide, and some as generic as loving someone who doesn't love you. One of the best things about music is how open to interpretation it is, how everyone can add their unique story to the same song. I, personally, tend to lean toward a suicidal theme-I think she's planning on committing suicide (or is battling severe depression), and he finds the note, and he's begging her to help him understand. It's a sad song to me, but the candle analogy and his willingness to wait on her to come around lend it a hopeful element. At least, that's what I think about it-what about you?

"I will break into your thoughts
With what's written on my heart
I will break, break

I'm so sick,
Infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss,
Selfishness
I'm so sick
I'm so sick"

To me, this song is about being sick of the way that you, and the people around you, are living...sick of selfishness and superficiality. Standing up and telling those who refuse to listen to shut up and hear 'my screaming in your itching ears'. And I'm most definitely sick of the mindsets of so many around me, of the selfishness and the hypocrisy. This song is empowering-it slams what's wrong in your face so that you have to deal with it. I love the music, and Lacey's voice, and the lyrics (though Breathe Today is probably my favorite song from their self titled album). The video is below, but for those of you who don't like Flyleaf or Lacey's screaming, at least check out the lyrics here.



So, what makes you sick?

Live Music that Actually Moves Me

Unfortunately, in the music industry today you don't have to have talent in order to sound great in a studio recording-technology fills in the gaps. Which is why I normally hate albums that are live recordings of concerts, because they show how far the artist really falls short of their manipulated and enhanced and auto-tuned studio work. Even fairly talented bands can sound mediocre live, if the singer and/or other band mates don't have the best endurance, playing song after song. I'm not a fan of 'live' versions as a rule-but there are some bands that are too amazing to disappoint. The first concert I saw televised was Queen performing at Wembley in 1986. Obviously it wasn't brand new by the time I saw it, considering this was six years before I was born, but it was new to me when I finally did, and as a Queen fan I was completely blown away… I was absolutely glued to the TV. Freddie Mercury had the gift of moving a crowd with his charismatic personality, and in Queen's performance of Under Pressure (one of my favorites by them, along with I Want to Break Free) really displayed how he could control the crowd-before the song begins… well, just watch it ;) :

If you can do an amazing job live, then you actually have talent-which Queen, and other classic bands from that time, really did. I saw Linkin Park's concert in Madison Square Garden on TV a little while ago, and they actually did a great job-it wasn't quite as good as on their albums, but pretty darn close, and far better than I expected (and I'm a fan, believe it or not, but like I said-I don't have faith in live performances). The only current band I've heard lately and found downright amazing in their live concert recordings/videos is the one and only MUSE (INSERT FANGIRL SCREAM!)! I actually favorited their videos on YouTube-I favorited LIVE videos! Seriously though, if you haven't heard much Muse, check out this playlist of 7 of my favorite live performances and see how you like it OR this list, which is longer, and has the album versions of many of their songs. And whether you've heard them or not, check out this awesome live vid FROM…. Wembley again! The build from softer to loud, the crazy vocals and insane guitar work, followed by a beautiful piano solo, and the overall energy, COMBINED with some of my favorite lyrics ever… I love Butterflies and Hurricanes, what can I say :).

And this one is Knights of Cydonia-one of my favorite live performances, with the vocals, energy… this crowd was seriously moving, and the 'no one's going to take me alive...' part is epic :D

They aren't afraid to improvise and mix things up, and sometimes veer away from the recorded version, but it still sounds absolutely amazing and of studio quality, because they're just. that. good. I really could sit here and embed every single live video I can find, but I won't-instead, if you're interested, you can find all of my personal favorites, live and not live, Muse and not Muse, in one place-on my YouTube Channel.
Well, that's a couple of my favorite artists when it comes to live recordings-what are some of yours? Do you like live versions better, or do you avoid them? Let me know what you all think! And for those who commented on the Life is Sweet post-I have now replied in the comments section, so check it out :). A huge thanks to Angela for following-those of you who, unlike me, are capable of cooking, really should check out her blog, Recipes from my mom-it is a great cooking blog, and straightforward and easy to understand, so I have it marked as a favorite just in case I get brave someday soon and decide to try and cook something(I'm thinking about her Chicken Acapulco-it looks like something my mom would love). Thanks everyone for reading, and commenting, and being generally awesome people who I like to consider friends-you make blogging fun :D. Until next time,


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(¸.· Elizabeth *´¨)
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Music That Moved Me + Comments + a Photo

Just a couple tracks that I needed to hear the other day, and wound up playing on the way home. Thoughtful, softer songs. I was mostly listening to Cage the Elephant, Coldplay, and Dashboard Confessional, plus random ones that I wanted to hear, BUT I'll limit myself to... 4 songs, and what they mean to me.

"In my life, I have seen,
People walk into the sea,
Just to find memories,
Plagued by constant misery,
Their eyes cast down,
Fixed upon the ground,
Their eyes cast down

I'll keep my eyes fixed on the sun"

To me, this song is about pulling through the toughest of times, and not living in the past, but looking toward a brighter future... even on a cloudy day, I'll keep my eyes fixed on the sun. The video tells its own special story, and is pretty powerful. If you don't have time to watch, at least listen-it's a great song.



"Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost...

Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt...

You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won
'Cause along may come
A bigger one

And you'll be lost"

Beautiful song, and well named. To me it is about being hurt, and feeling lost, and being looked down upon by someone who doesn't understand. It isn't angry, but quietly defiant in a patient way. It explains itself better than any words I could ever string together:




"Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now
The things you swore you saw yourself"

Vindicate:
-to afford justification for; justify
-to claim for oneself or another

Vindicated. Justified. Claimed. Being flawed, but loved anyway... a beautifully confusing way to be.




"Here in this crowd I'm feeling all alone
Turn me around and point me back to home
I'm getting lost more every day
And I can't tear myself away...

Life on the moon couldn't be any stranger
Life on the moon wouldn't feel this far away
The life that I knew, it's through
And I'm gonna need you more than ever
I'm alone in this crowded room
It's like life on the moon"

A feeling I've had in the past, and my fear for the near future...



And a bonus song, for those of you who, like me, could stare out the window for days...



And if you're still reading, and looking for something else to listen to, check out my new youtube channel. Because I just got an account it is kind of empty so far, but I'm gonna work on it :). Which songs listed above did you like?

In response to your wonderful comments...

Shaynie, thank you SO MUCH for your prayers(and the hug)! Things are still crazy, but I'm trying not to lose it. And yes, it was quite a scare... I still don't know what actually IS wrong, which is frustrating, but the doctor is experimenting with prescriptions to see what helps.

Amanda, you don't like reptiles? Haha, my mom LOVES alligators... once they're made into boots and purses, that is :D. Personally, I'm a lizard lover; partly because they make such wonderful models, and partly because I have two pet leopard geckos :). And since I haven't much more time here, I'm going to comment on your posts in my post... which is weird, but whatever. LOVED Julianne Hough's and Crystal Bowersox's dresses, and actually didn't like Natasha Bedingfield's... it just seemed a bit too much, with her hair and then the contrast between the top and the bottom of the dress. I thought Jewel's was very sweet and flattering (it wasn't amazing or particularly memorable, but it seems like many women do NOT know how to dress when pregnant, and I thought this look was just perfect). I also liked Janelle Monae and Nicki Minaj (she's crazy, but it was just so HER XD Not saying anyone SHOULD wear that, but she totally pulls it off IMO). Bieber looked like he was drowning in his suit. Anddd.... Miley looked decent. I'll stop now :). I can't wait to hear what's up with you!

Max-I'm an east coast girl, but I do hope to see the west coast soon, and I'll definitely keep In & Out in mind! A HEALTHY burger sounds like guilt free paradise... sigh. I'm glad the trip went well and you're all back safe and sound! I can definitely relate when it comes to missing photo ops... it used to drive me crazy, but this post helped me to not get too frustrated. I actually did manage to get one decent snow shot this past winter... found it:

I think it turned out pretty good, but no picture I could take would have shown what the snow looked like that morning... every snowflake sparkled like glitter, and it was almost hard to look at it was so blindingly beautiful.

Anyway, for anyone who actually read this monster of a post, thank you. For reading, and commenting, and sticking with me even when I'm just not able to be here... I love you guys :). Also, thanks to Ashley and Jan (of the amazing Creative Instigation-seriously people, check it out) for following! I hope you enjoy what you find here :). Until next time,

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(¸.· Elizabeth *´¨)
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