Urgent Prayer Request

Please read this post, and please... please pray:

"I usually don't come to you with these kinds of things, but this is rather important. I'm also sorry to stray from my "draught (draft) month" but I have a prayer request. And please -- don't just ignore this because you don't believe in prayer.

I have an uncle... he's my grandma's, daughter's husband. So he's considered, I guess and in-law in our family. Anyway... he's always been one of my favorite uncles. He has two daughters but they're both busy into different things, and I'm one of the oldest grandchildren, so whenever I go over he likes to show me his guns. I must admit I don't find it appealing, but I think it's absolutely adorable how much he likes his. We also watch movies together sometimes... he likes scary and adventure type movies.
I remember one time I was awefully upset because someone had hurt my feelings. I was crying, and crying -- he brought my downstrairs and we ate ice cream and watched some girly movie. (notice this was only about a year ago so I was 15 not itty bitty or anything) Sometimes late at night we'll eat pizza bites together, and he doesn't share his snacks with anyone.

Moving on...

He wasn't feeling very good a few weeks ago so he went to the doctor. The doctors were thinking that he had lung cancer but wasn't sure, everyone was hoping and praying that it was something else. Something much less severe.

Tonight we found out that he has stage 4 cancer... and may only have a few months left to live.

Please realize I might have some of these facts wrong as I wasn't explained anything... I just hear bits and peices here and there. But when my grandma says "Bleah, you need to be praying" I know somethings very wrong, because she doesn't usually bring things up to me like that.

Please pray for him -- this is very serious, and I must admit I've never really experienced something like this except once about 4 years ago... and even then it was a bit far off and away for my mind to understand. I'm a little bit shaken and still a little bit distant. When bad things happen I tend to seperate myself. I'm a little emotional, and I'm a cryer. So I try to keep myself at a safe enough view that I don't get "hurt" by it... or whatever.

Anyway, just pray. Please... keep him in your prayers. You're welcome to ask your parents, aunts, uncles... grandparents, siblings, anyone to pray too. The bible says "when to or more are gathered in my name..." and there are 310 people following this blog.

So pray. "

Please, do. And if you do, you can head on over and let Bleah know that one more voice is being raised to God on behalf of her uncle. I'll respond to your (wonderful) comments in my next post, which will probably come tomorrow or Wednesday. In the meantime, I wish you all well... thank you for reading and praying...

I'm Not Thin Enough, I'm Not Nice Enough, I'm Not Pretty Enough

Hey everyone! A couple days ago, Ayla, from To Walk Barefoot, wrote a great post on the way that young women view their images and determine self worth. And it came straight from her heart.

The other day, a friend who shall remain nameless was staying over at my house. We were just hanging, eating chocolate and watching movies (as you do at sleepovers) and she just suddenly stopped talking and stopped doing anything. I asked her what was wrong.
She told me, "I'm sick of being like this" and gestured to her whole body. She said, "I'm sick of not being what everybody wants. I'm sick of being me. I'm not thin enough, I'm not nice enough, I'm not pretty enough."

If you've ever felt like her friend did, even a little bit, read the rest of the post

here.

And even if you've never struggled with your body, but you've struggled with who you really are as a person-it's worth your time. It is exactly what I needed, and I thought maybe some of you need to hear it as well. Wishing all of you beautiful people the best,

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Read This Post-Please, Your Prayers Are Needed

Hello everyone! I'm going to post about my birthday and Christmas plans and all of that materialistic crap soon, but there is something more important on my mind right now. There is an amazing young man who needs your prayer, as he is now fighting cancer-for the second time. One of my favorite bloggers, Laurea of Center Stage, has been pouring out her heart about what her 13 year old cousin, Joe, is going through. He battled bone cancer in his leg at the age of 8. His leg was amputated, and he survived... no, he didn't just survive-he lives and thrives and loves life. He participated in sports and was happy and everything was going great-and then on his 5th anniversary of being cancer-free, he was diagnosed with cancer yet again. Joe has a tumor in his lung, and is undergoing chemo to shrink it right now. And yet, somehow, he still has faith. He still believes in God's will, and doesn't turn with anger like most people would (I know I would). I'm asking all of you to pray for him, even if you wonder about whether or not it does any good. Even if your faith seems weak, like mine. Because HIS isn't, and if he isn't going to give up and mope and turn his back on God after what he has been through, what right do we have? Even if we've given up on God, he hasn't given up on us, and prayer is more powerful than we tend to believe. As Laurea said, "If we fight and pray together we can accomplish anything."


If you want more information, go to this post at Laurea's blog. You can also help by spreading the word and getting as many people praying as possible-blogging buddies, real life friends and classmates, your family, everyone! Don't underestimate the difference you can make. Thanks for reading and for praying,


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Music That Moves Me: The River (plus a mini-lecture, joy!)

"I've seen enough now
To know that beautiful things
Don't always stay that way
I've done enough now
To know this beautiful place
Isn't everything they say

I heard that evil comes disguised
Like a city of angels
I'm walking towards the light

Baptized in the river
I've seen a vision of my life
And I wanna be delivered
In the city was a sinner
I've done a lot of things wrong
But I swear I'm a believer
Like the prodigal son
I was out on my own
Now I'm trying to find my way back home
Baptized in the river
I'm delivered
I'm delivered"
Good Charlotte (ft. Avenged Sevenfold)

(The song ends at 3:15, after that there is a series of pictures of this person's dog, which passed away. Random, I know, but I can't blame them for doing a tribute. If you're listening, you can comment with your favorite dog breed ;)

Evil DOES come disguised, as something beautiful or fun or exciting and new. We slip into sin so easily, because to human eyes the lines of right and wrong can get blurry. And I think that it can be so easy to judge eachother based on those bad decisions we make-I know I don't care to hear about certain people's personal lives, because they are filled with sleeping around and getting drunk and high-because I HATE the choices they are making. But the bottom line is, we are ALL sinners, and we are ALL God's children. So hate the sin, by all means, but don't hate the sinner. I know it sounds cliched, but I see it all the time from self-proclaiming Christian youth-that condescending attitude toward the lost. Though I have never made those choices, I have lost touch of God before, and it isn't easy. I am a Christian, but don't advertise because I'm not a good one. My faith is weak-but I'm working on it. What I'm asking from those of you who do advertise is to show a little love to those who are lost. Don't make church and Christianity itself seem exclusive, because God isn't, and we all need His love.

"Like the prodigal son
I was out on my own
Now I'm trying to find my way back home
Baptized in the river
I'm delivered"

Anyway, sorry for the mini-lecture... don't know where that came from. Let me know what you think of the song :). If you like it at all, check out Misery (another GC fave of mine). If you check out Misery, let me know what you think of it as well!
Also, a huge HELLO! to Raja-Man (who is my 25th follower! I was secretly hoping I'd hit 25 by Christmas, so yay for that!). Thanks for following, Raja-Man, I hope that you enjoy what you read here :).

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Giving Thanks+Fun at a Red Light!

Thanksgiving, such a glorious holiday where we all stuff our faces and remain full for days... at least, everyone I've talked to about their Thanksgiving said with a smile and a distant expression 'I ate too much...' :D. Mine was bittersweet. Started off rough, family arguing...my dad was trying to get my mom to go to a movie that afternoon, and she didn't want to go without me, and he was freaking out because he wasn't getting his way. Then I got to go to Henry's house to celebrate with his family and have lunch, which was absolutely wonderful! His family was fun to be around, and it was (kinda) his dad's birthday, and his dad's sister (so Henry's aunt) made an absolutely amazing cake that looked like a cooked turkey! The food was great, and MG, Henry's sister, showed me how to make a cootie-catcher with post-its(I hadn't made one in years, and had forgotten how).

I showed her how to make an origami frog, and then we made a bunch, and I accidentally made one jump into Henry's cup of coffee XD. Then she got a sheet of green paper and made a HUGE one, but it couldn't jump worth a fart :). My neck was still hurting a little, but it wasn't cry-my-eyes-out pain, it was more dang-I-shouldn't-keep-turning-my-head pain. It would have been nice to talk more, but I had a lot of fun and am so grateful that he was willing to share his family and that day with me :). I wish I hadn't had to leave...but eventually I did, and when at home watched a movie with my parents (The Expendables, actually... LOL) then carried on with my day as if it wasn't a holiday. I loved seeing everyone's 'Happy Thanksgiving' posts, and this was part of one of my favorites:
"Before you pass out from the spread of food upon the dining room table...
Before you enter the rush of the Christmas season, awaking at 3am to grab the "hottest" deals of the season...
Before it becomes politically correct to refer to it merely as Turkey Day...
Can we stop?
Thanksgiving. Merriam Webster defines this as the act of giving thanks; a prayer expressing gratitude; and a public acknowledgement or celebration of divine goodness.
That cuts me to my core, what about you? I don't know if I've ever stopped to read the definition before, but that's loaded with a basis in God and in His providence." (from Lane Lareau, see here)
I've never actually seen the definition of Thanksgiving before. And really, that is what the day is about, right? So my family didn't have a meal together, no one cooked anything, the house was a wreck and we watched a violent movie. That isn't reason for me to be disappointed-if anything, I should be laughing! Actually, I'm laughing right now! But the bottom line is, I have so MUCH to be grateful for.

Right now, I am thanking you God, and I hope you can hear me. For my confidant and faithful friend, Henry. For momma. For A being such a great friend even though I'm horrible at replying to emails! For my wonderful brother and for Mrs. A. both supporting me despite my failings. For my other couple friends who still love me even though I'm the most horrible friend in the world. For my job, even though things aren't going that great lately. For letting me be a Semifinalist! For my SAT scores rising. For those people I've never let myself invest in, but who seem more than ready to be there for me anyway. For my family's health and the roof over our heads. I am so very fortunate... and I know that I don't thank you enough. So, from here on out, I'm going to try my hardest to remember the good things and stay positive. In the past couple weeks, my depression has really taken a toll on me, and I'm simply not feeling good right now. I actually didn't go to school today, for the first time in my life, because I just didn't think I could take it. But I am alive. And I will get through this ginormous pile of crap that is my life. And then I'll take a long, hot, shower and get all clean and comfy, and smile and thank you yet again for helping me through it all. Thanks again,
Your Lost Child, Elizabeth

OKAY, well now that I've gotten that out, FUNNY STORY TIME! The other day I was on my way home from work, and was at a red light, and a song I love came on the radio(mentioned here), and I started bouncing around the car like a crazy person. I turned it up so loud the car was shaking, and I was really really cold, which meant I was moving more than normal because I WAS COLD, even though I was wearing a scarf and my leather jacket! After I'd danced and beat up my steering wheel for a while, I remembered that I was wearing a santa hat.

Why? Because for the entire month of December, it is part of my uniform, and I am not allowed to work without it. So eventually the light turned green, and I was driving along, and the person on the other side of the intersection wasn't going even though the light was green, and I wondered why until I passed them and saw the head of the driver turn around to look at the twiggy chick in a leather jacket blasting Rise Against on the day after Thanksgiving... in a santa hat. Apparently, they didn't notice the light had changed.... LOL :D.

Anyway, sorry for the random and disconnected post... lol. Also, I'd like to thank you my followers for reading, including my newest follower Sarah! You guys rock!

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Frog Image from here.

Santa Hat Image from here.

x = God's Forgiveness. Problem 31, Solve for x.

On Wednesday, I was running on empty, and didn't have my homework done, and was very confused about where the week went. I mean, honestly, it's like I just left the classroom and went to work, fished for a day, then went back to school the next morning. So I was in the car in the parking lot working on a Physics test which was supposed to be completed and graded by class, then turned in. My Physics teacher pulls up beside us (my dad drove that day), and he sees what I'm working on. And smiles and nods at me, says hey to my dad, and goes inside. I'm making a great impression this school year, aren't I? If I hadn't been completely emotionally detached (which happens when I'm stressed or would/should be upset), I'd have been embarrassed and wanted to curl up and die. And looking back on it, yeah that would've been appropriate. Instead I just thought to myself Congratulations Elizabeth, you've just disappointed someone you respect. Again. I ended up running out of time, not finishing it, and having to tell my teacher I didn't complete it, though he saw me working on it. I apologized for not completing my homework, and he said "It's okay. Just get caught up" with another smile.

I'm honestly baffled. I don't understand... mercy, I suppose, is the word I'm looking for. I deserved to be reprimanded, at the very least. A lowered grade perhaps. And it frustrates me that I screwed up that bad, and didn't get punished in any way, shape, or form. And this is probably my biggest problem when it comes to my faith, I don't understand how someone can forgive and show mercy like that. It isn't logical or normal in this world. I've been raised with a punishment-and-reward type mindset, and most people I know operate in that manner. So when I make mistakes, I fully expect the worst. And then, I'm almost disappointed to find myself forgiven. And, without intending to, punish myself by dwelling on it.

I can't even fathom God's forgiveness, it is so completely beyond my comprehension... to send His only Son to die on the cross for ALL of our sins and screwups and murders, to pay the price for it all, so that we don't have to... that love amazes me, in so many ways for so many reasons. I'm a disappointment to myself, because I fear becoming a disappointment to others and failure in general, and it causes me to hesitate and procrastinate. I hate it, and I hate that I'm a disappointment to God. But He forgives me...I don't deserve it. I can't earn it, no matter how hard I work to make myself perfect. I can't get rid of it, no matter how bad a mistake I make and no matter how many times I mess up, He won't stop. And I'm honestly tired of punishing myself all the time with self-loathing, so I've decided to cut it out already. To stop dwelling on my lack of understanding. My human mind cannot compute God's forgiveness into an equation, it is pure and beautiful and infinite, and I need to do just one thing: accept it. It will never be balanced. The best thing I can do is to try and use the gifts God has given me, my mind and heart and potential, for His glory, to the very best of my ability. And that is exactly what I'm going to do.


P.S. I was planning on doing a post about my school day, which was actually fairly interesting. I know this kind of went off on a tangent, but it is where my heart and mind took me, and I followed, and here it ends. Thanks for reading,

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"But you see, it's not me, it's not my family.
In your head, in your head they are fighting,
With their tanks and their bombs,
And their bombs and their guns.
In your head, in your head, they are crying..."


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